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“As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I’m not gay.â€Â
Says the bloke who wants to shag Herbie.
A load of us were round at a mate’s house and he put on that Guitar Hero. I’m sorry to say though that I was still relatively sober and so I was able to read the song list. Problem was that I only got 3 or 4 songs down the list when I saw Rage Against The Machine on there.
Needless to say that I immediately demanded he turn off the whole job lot before I snapped his game in half, chucked his eggbox out of the window, did a massive shit on the living room floor and then burnt his house down.
This might sound a bit harsh, but it just so happens that the universally accepted course of action when you find someone with music by Rage Against the Machine in their house is to snap the disc in half, chuck an electrical appliance out of the window, do a big no 2 on their lounge carpet and then burn the whole place down. So notice how I was keeping exactly within the limits of natural justice. I wouldn’t want to be accused of over reacting.
Things did take a turn for the worse when he tried to tell me that some of their earlier stuff was alright. As you can imagine I thought the arsey bastard was asking me for a fight or something but thankfully I was calmed down with more beer and by now the telly was back on and that video came on with the sluts playing volleyball and showing their arses which distracted me from my ire somewhat.
So in short, I don’t know Insane because I’ve never played it.
Sorry to read that Phart. Interestingly enough, whilst I don’t need a therapist I think I’d make a good one. I’d quite like to hear sob stories from numpties about how their spouse is being unfaithful or how distressing their degree is and then I could cure them by giving them a smack in the face and telling them to get a fucking grip and show some self respect. Good good.
Keep on keepin’ it real though, bro’.
Post Office is as good a place to start as any Doc. I suppose if you were reading them in order it would be Ham on Rye, Factotum, Post Office and Women.
Get a fast car and go to the airport and speed off down the runway. 5 stars straight away. Then just tear arse off down runway 2. Escape straightaway. Challenge done.
For escaping 5 stars you get some of those gamer points as well that them nerdy cunts like Legit wank off about.
I did.
Put it on for an hour. Drove round and round and round (heard Sick Of It All on the radio which was a bonus but the rest of the music is shite) but soon realised that they still haven’t put any kids on the game for me to shoot/run down/chuck off buildings.
Will these people never learn?
Here are some more links, these are important though – they explain why NASA try not to use english astronauts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_DjsmkD1fw” onclick=”window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4Q6733x6DA&feature=related” onclick=”window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOjmPJxAuXA&feature=related” onclick=”window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCVGTtfq2OM&feature=related” onclick=”window.open(this.href);return false;
This film is about when you are all out with your friends having a few drinks and generally having a good time when one of your mates turn up with his fat fucking 25 stone missus who then tramps around flattening everything, eating people and generally acting like a twat and ruining everything for everyone. Christ, I know she’s a stupid, remboid, fist magnet chipwreck – I could’ve told you that! You don’t have to make a film about the fat cunt for gods sake.
Once again, Hollywood seem intent to mock my life (after Idiocricy did as well, though my review got bollocksed up by the forum error that plagues this place now, and it was quite a long one too) and I don’t want to reminded of how the fat mess annoys me everytime I see her when all I want to do is go to the pictures to be entertained.
But unlike Idiocrisy, which was just a blatant defamatory attack on me, there is at least a moral to this film. Here it is. If you do have a missus who’s thick as pigshit, a complete salad dodger and annoying as hell for fucks sake don’t take her out with you and inflict her on your mates. Show some consideration. It’s not only bad form, it’s embarrassing for you, it’s embarrassing for them, and come the end of the night you run the risk of your mates going home hungry when the munter pushes to the front of the queue in the kebab shop and shovels it’s entire contents into her fat face before waddling off to find a taxi (or get bombed by the USAF in Central Park, one of the other).
I can barely post at all, it’s got sweet F.A. to do with the pound sign for me. 9 out of 10 times I’ve tried I get this error.
Can’t be arsed with it anymore.
@xdc the doc wrote:
I always dismissed his stuff as being utter trash… without ever actually reading any of his books however.
Are you serious… is this guy actually a good writer?
Man living his life. Uknown bad thing targets him. Man runs away. Bad thing uses powers to track him down. Man runs away again. Repeat for 15 chapters. Man ends up in old shack in the countryside. Bad thing attacks him. Showdown, man wins. Book ends.
That’s the plot of every Koontz book you’ll ever read.
Read this book instead
If you don’t think it’s one of the best books ever you’re a spaz.
@tess wrote:
If it was dirty looking women you wouldn’t need to feel shame, but they are without a doubt, girls. Very sexy ones, but still only girls. Tsk tsk tsk
Ahh, but you know what the main cause of paedophilia is?
Sexy kids.
True story about Russell Brand.
Being a bit of a fashion icon he went down to his local tailor and asked him to make him something which would suit his idiom. You know, something which would be his signature clothing. People could look at it and say “that’s Russell Brand alright”.
Happily the design was perfect and here it is..
