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Too busy to play at the moment, might pop on tonight though if anyone else is about, could do with a giggle!
Three Irish guys walk into a bar. The first goes to the bar and says “c-c-c-c-c-c-can I ha-a-a-av-v-ve a p-p-pint of stella p-p-pl-lease”. The rather attractive bar maid ignores his stutter and serves up a pint of stella. The second Irishman the says”ca-nn-n-n can I-I h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-ha-ave a p-p-p-pint o-o-o-o-f-f-f of G-Guiness please?”. Again, the barmiad ignores his stutter and seves the drink, although thinking it odd that two Irishmen have entered with a stutter. The third Irishman then pipes up”c-c-c-c-c-c-o-o-o-ou-l-ld I h-have a p-p-p-p-p-p p-p-p p-pint o-o-o-of m-m-m-m-mild please?”. The barmaid is really curious now and, after serving him his pint decides to have some fun. so she turns around and says (now would be a good time to remember that she is very hot) “I am going to ask you each the same question. If you can answer me without stuttering, I will let you shag me upstairs now”
The three Irish men look at each other, but all nod vigorously in agreement. So the barmaid turns to the first one
“Where were you born?”
“c-c-c-cork. Shit” he replied
“sorry, no sex for you!”Turning to the second on she again asks “Where were you born?”
“dubl-l-l-lin. cock”
“oh dear!” the barmaid retorted, now beginning to enjoy herself.On turning to the third she says “to keep it fair, I’ll ask you the same question. Where were you born?”
“London” he immediatley replies.
“Oh crap. Well, I am a woman of my word” said the barmaid, rather shocked at this unforseen turn of events.Taking his hand, she led him upstairs where she gives him the shag of his life. Banging and screaming they keep the whole pub entertained until, as he climaxed, one word could be heard, screamed above the fruit machines and the horse racing on the big screen, the distinctive Irish accent screaming out “DERRY!”
whats the largest single cause of paedophillia in this country?
answer (NSFW)
[spoiler:1u7j29r9]sexy children[/spoiler:1u7j29r9]Always goes down a storm at interviews!
[youtube:3d978orn]bXOPIbb8ZjA[/youtube:3d978orn]
check out screenwipe, look out for newswipe next year
I beleive this is a Charlie Brooker thang, one of my mates was working on his new thing “newswipe” (well on trhe pilot anyway) and mentioned somehting about this. looks good.
Arived late friday night, left earlyish sunday with a wedding in between. Also, West Norwood is a pain to get anywhere from!
I wrote that after I got back from a wedding in central london, after al,most nailing a bird (got her back to her hotel room only to find out that she was sharing a room with her mother, despite the fact that she was definitely up for it), then got lost, ended up walking from marble arch to victoria, worked out that to get to west Norwood I needed to get the N2 bus (I was staying at a mates and couldn’t remember the name of the road he lived on so a taxi wasn’t an option, that and the fact it would have probably cost me £45847327. Anyway, got on the bus, fell asleep, woke up at the end of the line in Crystal Palace. Luckily the bus driver decided to be nice and give me a lift back to Norwood bus station where I was somehow able to work out my way back to my mates flat (he was staying at the Carlton club as it was his sister who was getting married and his parents had a flat there) 6 am, having not had a shag, lost my phone and utterly pissed, I got back.
Oh, I was wearing my morning suit as well, got a lot of odd looks as I went through Norwood. great night though!
