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Alzir’s got a job interview on Wednesday (they come along like buses!) And has been told he’ll have to act like a chicken, do a little song, and tell a joke. So he’s asked for some help from you guys. The only one I know is the Eddie Murphy/Rabbit – shit sticking to your fur.
So over to you.
whats the largest single cause of paedophillia in this country?
answer (NSFW)
[spoiler:1u7j29r9]sexy children[/spoiler:1u7j29r9]Always goes down a storm at interviews!
When the Ultra-sound guy is on holiday, who is the second coolest person in the hospital?
[spoiler:3e23eqv9]The hip repacement guy![/spoiler:3e23eqv9]
And Im done!
Three Irish guys walk into a bar. The first goes to the bar and says “c-c-c-c-c-c-can I ha-a-a-av-v-ve a p-p-pint of stella p-p-pl-lease”. The rather attractive bar maid ignores his stutter and serves up a pint of stella. The second Irishman the says”ca-nn-n-n can I-I h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-ha-ave a p-p-p-pint o-o-o-o-f-f-f of G-Guiness please?”. Again, the barmiad ignores his stutter and seves the drink, although thinking it odd that two Irishmen have entered with a stutter. The third Irishman then pipes up”c-c-c-c-c-c-o-o-o-ou-l-ld I h-have a p-p-p-p-p-p p-p-p p-pint o-o-o-of m-m-m-m-mild please?”. The barmaid is really curious now and, after serving him his pint decides to have some fun. so she turns around and says (now would be a good time to remember that she is very hot) “I am going to ask you each the same question. If you can answer me without stuttering, I will let you shag me upstairs now”
The three Irish men look at each other, but all nod vigorously in agreement. So the barmaid turns to the first one
“Where were you born?”
“c-c-c-cork. Shit” he replied
“sorry, no sex for you!”Turning to the second on she again asks “Where were you born?”
“dubl-l-l-lin. cock”
“oh dear!” the barmaid retorted, now beginning to enjoy herself.On turning to the third she says “to keep it fair, I’ll ask you the same question. Where were you born?”
“London” he immediatley replies.
“Oh crap. Well, I am a woman of my word” said the barmaid, rather shocked at this unforseen turn of events.Taking his hand, she led him upstairs where she gives him the shag of his life. Banging and screaming they keep the whole pub entertained until, as he climaxed, one word could be heard, screamed above the fruit machines and the horse racing on the big screen, the distinctive Irish accent screaming out “DERRY!”
@TurksMeister wrote:
Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital?
[spoiler:22dw9az7]The Ultra-sound guy![/spoiler:22dw9az7]
LOL I’m so using this at work tomorrow.
a man pulls up to a 24 hour garage late at night. he goes up to the window and says to the woman…..”can i have a Kit-Kat Chunky”
the woman leaves and returns with a Kit-Kat Chunky.
the man then says, “No, I wanted a normal Kit-Kat you fat bitch!”
PMSL!!!!
love that one
Just had a thought.. No one seems to tell jokes in person anymore do they? Maybe Alzir should email/text them in first :/
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