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Mr. T survived a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris. He was the first and only one to do so. However, he barely survived.
Mr. T’s incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn’t have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T’s.
23. That’s the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T’s edition of the VH1 show ‘Where Are They Now’ was the shortest in the show’s history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words “Right Behind You” written on it.
Mr. T doesn’t obey the second law of thermodynamics. It obeys him.
Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That’s why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T’s hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald’s, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
When the end of the world comes, it won’t be referred to as “Judgment Day”. Rather, it shall be called “T-Day”, when Mr. T ends the world by simultaneously pitying all six billion fools on this planet to death.
Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.
Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.
Mr. T rejoiced as President George W. Bush was elected to office, as the coming administration would assure that he would never run out of fools to pity.
When Mr. T cuts onions, it’s the onions doing the crying.
The Manhattan Project really did not create the atom bomb, but instead put the pity Mr. T distributes, in a bottle and then dropped it on Japan.
When Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.
Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.
If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun.
Osama Bin Laden isn’t hiding from the US, he’s hiding from Mr. T
Mr. T invented cryogenics for the sole purpose of turning fools into Pity Pops, which he then sells to buy more gold chains.
Mr T defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Mr T loves you.
The vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase “We PETA the fool who eats animals.” Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catch phrase, Mr. T founded McDonalds.
Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80’s.
Mr. T’s pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
You have only seen Mr. T in human form. In Narnia, he is a T. Rex with a lion’s tail hanging out of his mouth.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
Mr. T is not black. It’s just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T once rocked the Kasbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Kasbah.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr.
T.In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell’s jibba-jabba.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T was the first to kill two bird with one stone. He kept the stone, and as of now it has killed 6,048.
They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don’t have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person. If Mr. T is chasing you, you’re dead no matter what.
Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T’s sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.
Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That’s 100 fools pitied a second.
On all 3428 instances it occured, when Mr. T and Chuck Norris both deflower’ the same woman, the resulting spermal battles have caused the woman’s uterus to explode in a flurry of pity and roundhouse kicks.
Mr. T doesn’t have internal organs. He had them removed to make more room for muscle.
The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Mr. T’s neck was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
Mr. T didn’t know Rocky was a movie. He just wanted to kick the shoot out of a white guy and steal his bitch, A-team style
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