My Big Break

@VicJameson wrote:

When filming yourself having sex with a lady, remember to withdraw at the point of climax to show the viewer those silken cords of jizz arcing into her face. A good film is nothing without a money shot.

I don’t know, trust Vic to lower the tone.

Alternatively get her at it like a dog eating hot chips and then release the population paste when you’re chintappers deep and you’ve a good chance of it coming out of her nose. Not only does this look great for the cameras but your lady friend will absolutely love it and be really grateful.

Fortunatly I will be in civilised Uganda, not pikey Cheltenham, so that should not happen!

Uganda? Civilised? I don’t know what they teach you young ‘uns in university these days, but here’s a few sample news stories today in Uganda’s papers (c/o BBC):

Ugandan Man Marries Self. Gets arrested
In a bizarre turn of events a schizophrenic Ugandan man yesterday managed to marry himself. However, during his honeymoon he rang the local authorities to report that he had sexually abused himself against his will. After a night in the cells he announced that he would be getting a divorce as he’d ‘drifted appart’.

Goat Voted in as President
After a predictable landslide victory Henry the goat was voted in as the president of Uganda. Ignoring all questions from reporters Henry declared he was going to a bar, and then had the rest of his cabinet barred from the establishment, prior to insisting on a delivery of 3000 chocolate bars. He’s has since inferred that he will be raising the bar for Ugandan politics.

Police Warn that Lumbering White Peeping Tom Arrival Imminent
Ugandan Special Weapons Teams are preparing themselves for a visit by an overseas peeping Tom who uses Uganda to get his cheap kicks by filming or photographing the locals. “If I see him I kill him many times nice” said the interpreter who we’d been advised not to use.