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Oh, I don’t know what she’s called WET, all these bloody bimbo singers are a dime a dozen to me. It’s my own fault of course for getting pissed up on XB and knocking all the Razzles off the top shelf in the newsagents. My lifetime ban now means I can no longer get my copy of Hello magazine and keep up to date with all the celebrity news.
It’s a harsh lesson but one that everyone should heed – read Hello magazine or get your celebrity ailments mixed up and end up looking like a complete and utter cunt.
Woah shit!
Right then, I’m not really interested in pop tarts and all that bollocks and I jumped the gun and got a bit confused between this Kylie and that bird whose hair fell out and has been on telly telling everyone how terrible it is. Without going into the whys and wherefores I now understand that Kylie has had something a bit more serious than a spot of alopecia and that being the case, and not intending to upset the apple cart on what is potentially a pretty sensitive and serious subject I take it all back unreservedly.
So, just to clarify. No offence intended and Kylie – I would definitely give you a good hard seeing too regardless just to show there’s no hard feelings and all that.
Glad that’s cleared everything up. Phew, thank fuck for that.
@Mr.Fenix wrote:
Happy birthday suckaz! 😀
We live in strange times. Imagine what it’s going to be like for your 25th – you’ll prolly have a virtual party full of Kylie Klones. Well, you better had if you want me there.
Yours with extreme prejudice
Faithful Camp-follower Fenix.Count me out then – no way am I fucking a baldie bird.
@=XDC=iNSANE wrote:
I too miss the old style of the site.. esspecially the birthdays bit and umm comics!
No! They are graphic novels and you well know it. This has been mentioned on some other thread somewhere and some bloke called Four Rat Faces or something (good name though) absolutely pissed his knickers about this.
It’s a serious subject – show some respect!
@=XDC=sPUNKer wrote:
but enough of my crappy advice the real guru to talk about relationships is sickofitall 😛
Well my mate moved in with this bird once and he came home from work one day (she wasn’t employed at the time) and asked her, since she’d been sat on her arse for the past 9 hours, whether she could see her way clear to spend 10 minutes doing the washing up. So up she gets and goes into the kitchen and goes completely mental apeshit and bungs all the plates, cups, bowls and saucers they owned all over the shop. The whole shooting match. Nothing left. By this time, my mate is a bit aghast at what is going on but it’s clarified by her screaming at the top of her lungs “There, there’s no fucking washing up to do now so fuck off!†before she launches into him and tries to scratch his face off.
A week later she turns up at the club with her new man, this make up wearing Scot in a dress who spends all night following my mate around saying they should be best friends. Now live and let live and all that, and if you want to be a transvestite then that’s your shout. But what I would say is that if you are of that persuasion then it’s probably not a good idea to spend 2 hours following a skinhead round a nightclub telling him he should be your best mate because you happen to be shagging his ex. I’m not saying what happened to him after he followed my mate into the mens bogs! but it’s fair to say the night took a pretty calamitous turn for the worse for him at that point.
So my advice is that if you are going out and meeting birds at the moment you’ll probably want to turn down any offer of a date or relationship you might get from my mates ex Sarah. She’s an absolute fucking headcase.
It’s safe to say the Xbox 360 version will look good but buy it on the PS2 unless you support Man Utd or Chelsea (cos these are licensed). If I’ve read correctly the 360 version has no edit feature. So you are stuck with what you’ve got by the sounds of it. Maybe Insane can confirm.
The PS2 has full edit so you can change names of players, teams, stadiums. You can also create your own teams and edit kits and players already in game. Plus you can move players around to update transfers (a few big uns haven’t been done – Sorin and Kezman spring to mind) and choose your own international squads.
Not sure about the PC version.
Not convinced about FIFA Insane – I remember playing one a year or so ago and my Bradford City team was scoring 5 overhead kicks a game. Kinnell! Short of a City playing tripping up, breaking both his legs flying through the air and the ball happening to hit him on his shins whilst he did it there’s more chance of me getting abducted by sex mad Salma Hayek lookalike space aliens than seeing an overhead kick at Valley Parade.
@=XDC=Morgan wrote:
@sickofitall wrote:
I’d suggest cutting to the chase and calling them “Welsh”.
note to self….beat sickofitall stupid if ever we meet. 😀 😀 😀 😉
Actually, I’ve seen the error of my ways. Having seen the reaction of a mongoloid who I jokingly called Welsh this weekend I now realise how incredibly hurtful my comments can be. So sorry about that.
Anyhow, I’ve not seen this film but isn’t it all just nicked from an episode of South Park?
I got this on the PS2. Quite impressed. The CPU is better this time. It actually beat me over the weekend on 2 occasions. Couldn’t believe it. No German League this time though, it’s actually got less teams on it that PES5.
@=XDC=Morgan wrote:
errrrr…….. not to sound to much of a geek but…..
Sin City isnt in black and white.
Elijah Wood dosnt play a werewolf (thou he does wear goggles)
All the stories ‘are’ connected.
300 is (as already pointed out) written by the same person.
300, thou taken from a comic is actually based on true events.
And some ‘comic books’ got the name of ‘Graphic novels’ because they are so bloody long. Trust me , Ive read 300 and its bloody long and the art work is far as can be from other comic books.Apart from that I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Well I’m certainly not going to argue with you Morgan, especially not after the Psycho reputation you’ve got for rucking with the police.
I watched this last night and really couldn’t make my mind up at all. One the one hand the brunette looked consistently tidy but then again from certain angles the blonde looked even better. Problem was that on a few occasions the camera caught the blonde at a particularly bad angle and she had a look of Pob about her – that kids puppets with the bulging cheeks that used to annoy absolutely everyone but was only kept going because we all knew that in every school in the country there was a six fingered kid that looked exactly like him.
Now if you could bank on a threesome you’d be laughing – but you have to be realistic you see and even now, even though I think I’d do the brunette, I’ve still got major doubts about it.
What was the film about by the way?
@=XDC=iNSANE wrote:
looks like Sin City as its based on a novel from the same writer 😀
I saw the “Based on the Graphic Novel†bit. Comedy gold that. It’s based on a comic! Graphic novel indeed. Brilliant.
I particularly liked it on this film trailer when they’re all stood around around this big circular hole in the ground. Now I’m not necessarily saying that it looked liked some badly done 80’s kids TV show but I did expect Patrick Moores big bulbous head to appear and say in that hurried clipped voice “Hurry up now, the poisonous gas is seeping in!†just as the kid enters from the left, big daft helmet covering his eyes and walks straight down the hole whilst his mates in the studio shout “Go right! Go right!†at the top of their voices.
Actually, if that had happened on the trailer it would have been bloody good.
Anyway, I can’t sit around posting here all day. I’ve got a high octane “graphic novel†to read. I’m not sure how it’s all going to turn out but I’m really hoping that the little yellow bird will fly in a wiggly line into a tree and that the lad will play his piano so the beagle can have a bit of a dance. Fingers crossed!
Looks naff.
What’s more, it reminded me of that “Sin City” thing for some reason, and god that film was pony:
-Right, this film has 3 stories all based in the same city. One has Bruce Willis in it and…
-Hang on, why Bruce Willis?
-Well, it’s a film. It’s got to have Bruce Willis in it. Besides, I’m thinking he can do his hard man squint and talk loads of meaningless drivel in pointless monologues which people will think is dead cool.
-Ah, right. Good point. Go on then.
-Okay, another story has hookers in it and the last one is about a werewolf.
-A what?
-A werewolf, I’m thinking we can get Frodo to play him.
-Woah, now hang on there fella. I’m not sure about this werewolf angle anyway but getting Frodo f***ing Baggins to play a supernatural killing machine isn’t going to work.
-I thought you might say that and I’m one step ahead of you. See, we can give him goggles!
-You want Frodo Baggins to be a werewolf, and people will know this by the fact that he’s wearing big goggles?
-Yes, it’s great isn’t it!
-Alright, I’m not too sure about this, where does Bruce Willis fit in?
-Oh no, that’s a different story
-So how are they linked these stories?
-They don’t have to be linked, they’re set in roughly the same vicinity see.
-Well could we at least get Vin Diesel on board in one of these stories to dress like a puddle jumper and shoot a few people?
-No, that wasn’t my idea, I wanted hookers with guns in my other story.
-Ah, now this is promising, how many nipple shots are you putting in?
-None, they’ll just stand on top of buildings shooting guns awkwardly. I’m thinking we can get that chipmunked faced bird to dress like a cowgirl and dance about a bit though.
-People do go for that chipmunked faced bird.
-I know! See, it’ll be great.
-So, what’s the hook then mate. Why are people going to flock to see this film, What’s the selling point?
-It’ll be in black and white!
-….
-….
-No
-What?
-People are not going to watch a film about Frodo the werewolf, Bruce Willis talking to himself and hookers shooting guns just because it’s in black and white. Eve the chipmunked face bird won’t save that.
-But…I’ve….that’s not all…
-That’s not all? Come on then, let’s hear it. What could you possibly have lined up for this film now. This is gonna be good. I can’t wait for this.
-A fluorescent yellow goblin?
-Unbelievable! Listen son, I’ve listened to your ideas, I’ve heard all you’ve got to say. This is going to be the shittest film ever made. Bruce Willis would have worked, the punters love him, and the chipmunked faced bird. I even tried to help you out with the idea of Vin Diesel dressed like a bummer, that one’s a banker. But no, black and white with bright yellow goblins, Goggle wearing werewolf hobbits. Christ on a crutch lad. Where do you get it?
-I dunno, I think I must read two many comics
-…
-I know, my mum is always saying “Look, you’re 30 years old, you need to get out of that bedroom of yours and get yourself a girlfriend. Maybe even move out. Just grow the fuck upâ€ÂÂÂ. That’s what she says.
-Well, don’t you listen to your mum lad! Why didn’t you say you’d seen it in a comic!Kerching!
Hollywood Bluckbuster.
@=XDC=NeonSamurai wrote:
Any of you married blokes got any advice for a happy marriage?
Well, I’ve never been married because I’ve got more sense but here are my general tips based upon experience.
Firstly if your missus is a goth don’t go out in a rubber top to please her on the basis that since your mates are up in Yorkshire and you are in Nottingham they won’t be any the wiser. On the off chance that they do decide to have a night out in Nottingham not only will the beasting be too much that you have to go home early, it’ll also mean that you can never go out again. No self respecting mate is ever going to give you a minutes peace for being caught dressed like a bummer. Not for the rest of your living days. Well, I won’t anyway.
If your missus weighs over 20 stone and draws on her eyebrows keep the fat twat under control. It might be totally acceptable for your other half to talk to you like you’re some kind of spineless servant but if she starts trying to pull that shit with your friends she’s going to get told to shut the fuck up. Also, don’t let her sit on little canvass camping chairs either, she’ll only break them and then roll around on her back for 10 minutes like a marooned beetle whilst everyone pisses themselves laughing.
If your other half is a goggle eyed buffoon with a face like a bucket of frogs do not let her come onto me whilst I’m sat next to Alice the Goon and trying to get rid of her. I might not have much pride but even I don’t want to look like I’ve just been down to the circus and pulled the Troglodyte Sisters for a threesome. Jesus.
If your wife is a tidy redhead it’s probably not a good idea to let her go to nightclubs and tell poor unsuspecting blokes that’s she’s single. I’m not saying anything happened or anything. I’m just saying, that’s all. You know, that bloke could find out later that she’s spoken for and might have to be thankful that nothing happened and he didn’t even see her then or ever, for instance.
I can’t explain this one, so I’ll just say it. Don’t let your missus go to my mates house and do a crap in the bathroom bin. The fucking toilets in there for gods sake. What the hell was she thinking??!
Anyhow, I could go on but I’ll be writing this pointless nonsense all day. In short, don’t let her do anything.
