300

WOW – Will be keeping an eye on this one too.

Stone the crows!!!

looks mintball!!

Looks naff.

What’s more, it reminded me of that “Sin City” thing for some reason, and god that film was pony:

-Right, this film has 3 stories all based in the same city. One has Bruce Willis in it and…
-Hang on, why Bruce Willis?
-Well, it’s a film. It’s got to have Bruce Willis in it. Besides, I’m thinking he can do his hard man squint and talk loads of meaningless drivel in pointless monologues which people will think is dead cool.
-Ah, right. Good point. Go on then.
-Okay, another story has hookers in it and the last one is about a werewolf.
-A what?
-A werewolf, I’m thinking we can get Frodo to play him.
-Woah, now hang on there fella. I’m not sure about this werewolf angle anyway but getting Frodo f***ing Baggins to play a supernatural killing machine isn’t going to work.
-I thought you might say that and I’m one step ahead of you. See, we can give him goggles!
-You want Frodo Baggins to be a werewolf, and people will know this by the fact that he’s wearing big goggles?
-Yes, it’s great isn’t it!
-Alright, I’m not too sure about this, where does Bruce Willis fit in?
-Oh no, that’s a different story
-So how are they linked these stories?
-They don’t have to be linked, they’re set in roughly the same vicinity see.
-Well could we at least get Vin Diesel on board in one of these stories to dress like a puddle jumper and shoot a few people?
-No, that wasn’t my idea, I wanted hookers with guns in my other story.
-Ah, now this is promising, how many nipple shots are you putting in?
-None, they’ll just stand on top of buildings shooting guns awkwardly. I’m thinking we can get that chipmunked faced bird to dress like a cowgirl and dance about a bit though.
-People do go for that chipmunked faced bird.
-I know! See, it’ll be great.
-So, what’s the hook then mate. Why are people going to flock to see this film, What’s the selling point?
-It’ll be in black and white!
-….
-….
-No
-What?
-People are not going to watch a film about Frodo the werewolf, Bruce Willis talking to himself and hookers shooting guns just because it’s in black and white. Eve the chipmunked face bird won’t save that.
-But…I’ve….that’s not all…
-That’s not all? Come on then, let’s hear it. What could you possibly have lined up for this film now. This is gonna be good. I can’t wait for this.
-A fluorescent yellow goblin?
-Unbelievable! Listen son, I’ve listened to your ideas, I’ve heard all you’ve got to say. This is going to be the shittest film ever made. Bruce Willis would have worked, the punters love him, and the chipmunked faced bird. I even tried to help you out with the idea of Vin Diesel dressed like a bummer, that one’s a banker. But no, black and white with bright yellow goblins, Goggle wearing werewolf hobbits. Christ on a crutch lad. Where do you get it?
-I dunno, I think I must read two many comics
-…
-I know, my mum is always saying “Look, you’re 30 years old, you need to get out of that bedroom of yours and get yourself a girlfriend. Maybe even move out. Just grow the fuck up”. That’s what she says.
-Well, don’t you listen to your mum lad! Why didn’t you say you’d seen it in a comic!

Kerching!

Hollywood Bluckbuster.

@=XDC=iNSANE wrote:

looks like Sin City as its based on a novel from the same writer 😀

I saw the “Based on the Graphic Novel” bit. Comedy gold that. It’s based on a comic! Graphic novel indeed. Brilliant.

I particularly liked it on this film trailer when they’re all stood around around this big circular hole in the ground. Now I’m not necessarily saying that it looked liked some badly done 80’s kids TV show but I did expect Patrick Moores big bulbous head to appear and say in that hurried clipped voice “Hurry up now, the poisonous gas is seeping in!” just as the kid enters from the left, big daft helmet covering his eyes and walks straight down the hole whilst his mates in the studio shout “Go right! Go right!” at the top of their voices.

Actually, if that had happened on the trailer it would have been bloody good.

Anyway, I can’t sit around posting here all day. I’ve got a high octane “graphic novel” to read. I’m not sure how it’s all going to turn out but I’m really hoping that the little yellow bird will fly in a wiggly line into a tree and that the lad will play his piano so the beagle can have a bit of a dance. Fingers crossed!

Pah! SOIA is right. Graphic Novels?

They’re comics, nothing more. Sure I might be a bit jaded ever since Viz rejected my comic strip which I (really did) send in entitled ‘Kenneth Branagh’s Mammory Hammers’, which began with the line:

“Kenneth Branagh was the luckiest boy in Frothington Accademy because his uncle had made him a pair of flying, radio-controlled tit-shaped hammers.”

Ungrateful bastards. It was miles better than “Jarvis Cockers Quest for Knockers” which they published.

@=XDC=Morgan wrote:

errrrr…….. not to sound to much of a geek but…..

Sin City isnt in black and white.
Elijah Wood dosnt play a werewolf (thou he does wear goggles)
All the stories ‘are’ connected.
300 is (as already pointed out) written by the same person.
300, thou taken from a comic is actually based on true events.
And some ‘comic books’ got the name of ‘Graphic novels’ because they are so bloody long. Trust me , Ive read 300 and its bloody long and the art work is far as can be from other comic books.

Apart from that I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Well I’m certainly not going to argue with you Morgan, especially not after the Psycho reputation you’ve got for rucking with the police.

I hate trailers like this, it jumps around so much and appears very incoherent, but it looks so damn nice and graphical that you can’t help but feel compelled to go and watch it to only realise the reason the trailer was that way was that they were trying to hide within it a rubbish movie.

And the glimpse of the women and child in the field is just a bit too gladiator ripoff alike.

So, who knows, it could be as good as gladiator, or as over the top and boring as Kingdom of heaven