little story!

If you don’t laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is
even funnier when you realize it’s real! Next time you have a bad day at
work… think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to
a radio station in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
bottom of the sea I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wetsuit. This time
of year the water is quite cool, so what we do to keep warm is this: we
have a diesel-powered industrial ‘water heater’; this $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a hose, which is
taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used
it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom
and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a
Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started
to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within
a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I
don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However,
the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought
was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompressionstops
totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told
me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to
yourself, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.”