Wipers and co!

Yeah, get your asses online so Max can leave at the start of the game, its great fun.

Supreme Commander was a total crock of shit, best buy my ass. Yeah me and mugsy had a good game aswell 🙂 😀

I’m not made of money. I’m not a Czech! (Which actually sounds like ‘cheque’, but even that’s not ‘real’ money, thus giving my point even more gravitas).

I’m missing out on gaming at the moment, thanks to EA messing up 2142 and have had to revert to talking to the wife. Oh god does she go on? She’ll get in from work and I’ll say “how was your day?”, because I’m a polite chap and then she just starts talking and talking. She should just say “fine” and leave it at that, but she just goes on about people at her office who I don’t know, and it’s quite frankly dull. If people were entertained by what their partners do at work there’d be a TV show called “What I did at Work”, and it’d be like ‘Jackanory’ but with some woman going on about ‘that bitch in accounts’ or ‘Helen’s new shoes’ or something. But there isn’t.

I don’t talk to her about my work. I could blather on about problems with the exchange server and outlook synchronisation, or InSane’s sexual harrasment caution, but I don’t.

So what’s this game called again? Company of Heroes?

sorry your totally wrong stickofitall.

The models and graphics for the units are very well doen and not stick men at all lol. they even have ragdoll physics.

Sound Fx is fantasic and it requires alot of skill.

But you do have to like strategy games as they are the thinking persons game.

C&C Generals was shite, passed off under the C&C title, what a crock of shit

Hey, if it had been toy soldiers I’d have been hooked I can tell you. I used to have some great fights with toy soldiers as a kid, though the outcome was pretty much a foregone conclusion because whilst I had pretty much even numbers of infantry I had a Panther and a King Tiger on the axis side and I liked squashing people.

Nah, as an RTS game went it seemed well put together and everything, but these things just don’t hold my interest. So in all honesty, I’d say that this game IS worth a try.

Having said that, here’s my experience of these RTS games.

Step 1 – the tutorial

“If you draw a box round your 2 units you can control them both at once! Isn’t that AMAZING! Try it now, don’t worry if it takes you a few tries – I’ll wait for you to get it.”

Wow cheers, I’m really hoping you will because I’m not convinced I can manage that in one go. I might have to order me some kind of helper chimp to get me through this bit. Still, cross your fingers for me would you. It’s a long shot, but I might just pull it off…

“Well done! Now, with your units selected you can right click on those bad men over there and (this is the good bit) your men will go over there and automatically fight them! That’s right! And you can watch! Don’t worry about having to shoot or help out, the computer does that bit for you.”

Well that’s it. Drawing the box round my units had me in palpitations as it is but there’s only so much I can take. Even that dream I had last night where Salma Hayek and Kate Beckinsale were going at the old general like a couple of pigs at a tatty whilst being whipped on their bare arses by that bird with the big norks who does the weather couldn’t have prepared me for the hair raising exhilaration that is the white knuckle ride known as “Company of Heroes”. I’m going to have to turn you off now, this game is far too challenging for me.

“Don’t worry if you’re having problems right clicking on the bad men, just keep trying. You’ll get it eventually.”

No really, don’t. I don’t think I could face doing that. What if they actually do as you say and start fighting? That would be too much for my tiny mind to take, surely?

“Don’t worry if you’re still having problems right clicking on the bad men, just keep trying. You’ll get it eventually.”

No, no. I’m just not up to this. I prefer a quiet life thank you. I think I’ll have to do something a bit less exciting like say, lion taming. Or something slightly less cerebrally challenging like reproducing nuclear fusion in a cardboard box. You know, something more within the limits of my own mind.

Either that, or I’ll just have a quick wank.

“Don’t worry if you’re having problems right clicking on the bad…”

ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO QUIT? (Y/N)

Y