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Oooo and are there any tips I should know about?
Ive got a tent, waterproof, walking boots (couldnt get wellies – will that be a problem?), sleeping bag… anything else? (and clothes!)
as uphill as possible then.
I would recommend Zone 5 in the field next to the stone circle (sacred space on that map) or near abouts. For me the real festival is in the green fields ending at the jazzworld stage anywhere further northwest than that and its a bit dregs of humanity etc. from up in that field you should only get small wafts of sounds coming from the other stage if you want somewhere reasonable to chill out in. If you dont sleep too well with noise and light take some ear plugs and an eye mask also a blow up bed is ace but a bit of a luxury but if you dont mind making the trips to and from the car its cool or get one of them fold up wheelbarrows from a garden centre . More advice. Take a dust mask and some rosemary oil or somesutch strong essence. put a drop of rosemary oil on a couple of sheets of bog roll and put it in the dust mask for when you go to the loo it should make you wretch a lot less ;). Take a bag of baby wipes also as it can make the difference if you aint gonna shower propperly for 3 days or more. Make sure you eat good ruffage to prevent too many trips there. I would recommend somewhere that sells falafels and beanburgers. A good place can be found between the pyramid stage and the kidz field (close to the inevitable cider double decker bus) also good to find a fruit and veg store and get plenty of vitamins if you cane it like i do.
Take a suit or fancy dress with you and go and venture up to the lost vagueness site (near circus and cabaret) . they have a cassino and cabaret which is a good laugh and you can even hire a suit if you dont take one. Dont try to see everything just mark out the stuff that means the most to you and just spend the rest of the time exploring. Also usefull booze to take are those wines in a box. They may converscate glass bottles if they find them. And in case it is sunny DO take some suntan lotion as you’re going to be outside a lot. If it does rain take wellies anyway and also plenty of plastic bags to wear over your socks.
Enjoy it mate. Im tres jealous 😉…rosemary oil…
😯
Surely proof positive that sPUNKer is in fact a woman! Blokes just don’t know that kind of thing….
At reading people thought it was acceptable to rub shit on to the walls… some people deserve to be put down.
Pennard hill near the top, but not at the top as you may be struck by lighting, try and get near the tree line.
As this gives some shelter from rain, wind, sun 😆 , plus you can piss in it, oh and the tent robber only come from 3 sided.
If you get there early look at the ground amd do not camp in any gullies or dips.
Im doing Solfest and Bramton this year instead, and I have to say that my 10 years of Glasto’ing may be over….I’ve never been to Glastonbury because it’s for tree hugging hippies but I did go to a few of these music festival things in my younger days. My advice would be to camp as far away from any of the toilets as possible and the edge of the field because the bogs get so rough people will use the edge of the field to turn one out.
Now I’m not going to be there so you should be okay but on the off chance that there is some complete and utter c**t there like me don’t go to the portaloo drunk in the dark because someone is likely to tip it over, door side down while you’re in it and leave you there all night. Granted, it’s so funny for everyone else they’ll cry laughing but if you’re the victim you’re not likely to see the funny side.
The world is full of fannies these days so you shouldn’t have to worry but have a look around before you camp. You don’t want to end up next to a group of idiots who are going to listen to loud nihilistic music till 4 every morning, chop down trees and chuck them on people’s tents, get drunk and sleep in the nearest tent they can find to the one they think is their own* and generally act like tossers and ruin everyone’s weekend. Not that I’ve ever seen or done anything like this of course, but it could happen.
If you’re going with a load of your mates try to make sure that there is a gaggle of fanny nearby**. They should certainly be 18 year old students who are dead excited about being allowed out to their first festival.
It is considered bad form to get carried away in the “mosh pit†at a festival and break someone’s leg. Still, you can have a laugh about it later.
If there is one of these “right on†bands who have decided to camp with the “fans†in one of the fields do make sure that if you come across them you drunkenly tell them that they’re shit and their music is for puffs. Bands like this type of feedback from the punters and while they may react badly initially they’ll appreciate it later.
Tell your pissed up mate not to worry about the 3 foot deep puddles and the dark, because you’ll go with him to make sure he gets some cigs and makes it safely back – then take him to the middle of nowhere and leave him there (now that was funny).
After the festival, if you accidentally reverse over some kids car in your hired 15 seater mini bus whilst leaving it’s actually okay to speed off before you get caught.
*If you do this you’ll be glad you thought of **this because if you play your cards right since it’s a startlingly successful way of getting a shag at a music festival. (Another good tip is to talk to the birds who were stupid enough to pitch next to the fast food vans. After the first night of being kept up by the generators they run they’ll be gagging to find a bloke to knock about with of an evening and you’re guaranteed some action.)
sound advice as always SOIA :)) I’ve pushed a few bogs over in my time and it is painfully funny 😆 😆
Too old for that shite now tho 😥
Great stuff
Rather fantastically, me and my mate are going with our friend Hazel… who is going with all her girlie flat mates, who are going with all their friends, and friends… I think there will be 40 ladies in the group… and me… and Rich…
I havent seen any poon in over a year… surely I cant fuck this up!
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