Mobile Phone

@crazy hippo wrote:

sony ericcson W880i is one of the best bew phones available.

LG are girls phones so unless you want to look like camp i wouldnt recommend them

Gotta love them bew phones…

ALL mobile phones are gh3y…FACT

…forgot to mention iPods are also tools of the fag.

@=XDC=JuDgE-MenTaL wrote:

ALL mobile phones are gh3y…FACT

Absolutely right of course, and something I’m forever pointing out to my mates when they’re sat in the pub texting “ur mbl is kewl” to each other all ****ing night or whatever the **** it is they’re doing. ****ing nobs.
(That’s when their birds aren’t slapping the pink handcuffs on them by ringing em every 2 minutes to see what they’re up to. Which is the real reason why mobile phones exist, as I mentioned in a previous post).

About a week ago I was down the pub and nicked my mates ipod off him. This was after pointing out to him that he’d spent over 200 notes on a personal ****ing stereo. 200 quid!, on a personal stereo!. The bloke wants locking up, not an ounce of sense. But anyway. I’ve gone through all this before so that’s not the point. But hells teeth, what the effing hell is going on when a personal stereo costs 200 ******* quid?! Anyhow I nicked is ipod off him and life taught him a harsh lesson that night. So I’ll pass the lesson on, cos I’m nice like that. Now this lesson might seem to be blatantly obvious but here goes.

The lesson is that if you are going to the pub to meet you’re mates, who are all skinheads it’s probably a good idea to leave your ipod at home if you have the complete works of Abba on it. ****ing Abba! Here’s the excuse you don’t give unless you want to make it worse – His excuse was that he went to college! So that proves Judge is right beyond any reasonable doubt then when he said

@=XDC=JuDgE-MenTaL wrote:

…forgot to mention iPods are also tools of the fag.

Note – did you see how I blanked out all the swear words there? I decided I wasn’t going to swear in this post but I found it impossible to do whilst talking about mobiles and ipods, so I blanked them out instead. That’s the best I could manage I’m afraid. So it goes.

Thanks SOIA, glad we’ve cleared that one up for the blinkered ones.

what’s next?

@TurksMeister wrote:

What do you spend your money on Mr Soia?

At the moment Turks I am mostly spending my money on:

and

The best thing about it is that I can drink 20 quids worth of that and I no longer need an ipod, on account of the fact that I become a great singer, and I no longer need a mobile phone since I can shout at people and use graphic hand signals instead of texting.

As an added bonus, I become the worlds leading expert on everything and I also become completely invulnerable to any kind of damage caused by falling, tripping or other minor mishaps.

The only minor downside is that me drinking turns my missus into a compulsive liar and she’ll make up ridiculous stories about me being unable to undress myself, pissing on windowsills, being violently sick and falling unconscious on the stairs/in the garden/on the pavement outside etc…

‘Kinnell, that just reminded me how much I want a beer. Bollocks.