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families are a pain in the arse – take my brother – selfish twat – i get him into a cool clan and before you know it he is stealing all my gold medals and glory – fucker even steals my kills – i swear he stalks me on maps waiting for me to wound people so he can finish them off
Lis has an interesting relationship with her parents – we just get on with our lives – they know where we live if they want us and we don’t lose much sleep if they can’t be arsed to take an interest in the kids – since taking this approach things have settled down nicely.
@=xdc= magicker wrote:
families are a pain in the arse – take my brother – selfish twat – i get him into a cool clan and before you know it he is stealing all my gold medals and glory – fucker even steals my kills – i swear he stalks me on maps waiting for me to wound people so he can finish them off
Jebus, Ryzo is YOUR brother as well then
that’s right pick on my family … what about that retard brother of yours???
Lets face it at some part in our life’s whether it’s our own families or partner family they piss us off sooooo much that we never want to talk to them again. But we do for our kids sakes. Just to go on record Andy’s mum and dad are great. creep creep
Mag’s is right though, i have two sisters (not even going to include the half twits) My mum has always tried to play us against each other. My elder sister even now still looks for her approval on the things shes does (even though she has three kids of her own).
My mother had an affair with my dads best mate (i was about 8 ish) they split up and my sisters went with her but i stayed with my dad (as i saw the shagging couple at it one night.. only went down for a drink not to be put off sex for life lol)
Anyway to cut this short, life with dad was hard, sisters were living it up getting all they wanted. But no way on this earth would i change a thing.
So anyway i grow up move out at 15 why is another story( mmm make a good book i think) Dad gets on with his life moves away only now has he got back in contact.
Mum got on with her life plus the new family. I did see her a little but shes not a mum mum as in the sense of a loving mum that i would want to hug (she gave my sisters a hug, not so long back and i told her that if she touched me i would call the coppers. I was joking but i really don’t want that off her.Anyway what i should only say is that you have to learn to be hard and believe in yourself. Look after you and your family and fuck the rest who only want to hurt you or cause trouble.
You marry start a life with a loving partner and only see the rest of your family when you want to or not. Let them get on with their sad little lifes
and you enjoy yours.With all that i have had to put up with in my life at one point i could of ended it. But i’ve learnt to put myself and MY family kids and andy first and fuck the rest.
IT’S MY LIFE NOT MY USELESS PARENTS.
I’m sorry for going on but hey get it off the chest.
But there is more lol
I think in life we have two choices with our families
The trouble they cause can make us go two ways
We either let them walk all over us or a become hard to it and get on with our own lifes.
What ever we choose to do we must make sure that we look after ours kids and partners right and not how our parents did it.
@PoD[1st-BW] wrote:
@=xdc= magicker wrote:
families are a pain in the arse – take my brother – selfish twat – i get him into a cool clan and before you know it he is stealing all my gold medals and glory – fucker even steals my kills – i swear he stalks me on maps waiting for me to wound people so he can finish them off
Jebus, Ryzo is YOUR brother as well then
๐ ๐ !
Thanks for the input Liz. I’m of the opinion at the moment that when and if we get around to having kids I can’t guarentee that they won’t get the same sub-standard treatment that Nathalie gets, so IMHO her family can go whistle. Like you say, we won’t be bringing up our kids the same way that they did.
Unfortunately looks like I’ll have to go to this funeral with the wife tomorrow, even though we’ll have to train it to France to do so. But after that I’ll be making sure that we have nothing to do with them. Trouble is they’ll keep trying to speak to Nathalie and laying a massive guilt trip on her for being ‘a bad, uncaring daughter’.
And Magicker, you have my sympathies. I’m not sure who this brother of yours is, but he sounds like a nasty piece of work and not the lovely, cuddly, fluffy sort you’d want to hug. ๐
mate, having dealt with my missus having severe depression for a long while a few years back, i know how fucking difficult it is. That was here 3rd bout and the most severe and the one thing she really doesn’t need is family being total fuckwits………she needs care and support from her loved ones and if as is the case they are not being sympathetic but instead constantly laying guilt trips on her, its only going to compound her depression!
It’s a difficult call but i’d say get her away from her family, and perhaps get her talking to someone…………in claire’s case she spoke to a whole load of different people and in the end it was the constant chatting with this “pros” that made her realise that she alone would have to get herself through this, in many ways some of the therapists made the situation worse by bringing up things from chilhood that they believed was the cause of the depression but in fact made it worse by giving her more to think about!
Another thing is the medication, it can take an age to finally find the anti-depressant that works for the individual, we went through a fair few months of trying different types before finding one that seemed to stabalise her levels” but thankfully she’s been depression free for a few years now and hopefully will remain so, she sometimes feels low and if she does she just spends the day in bed, gets a bloody good rest and is ready to face the World in the next day or 2.
Good luck ๐
Families… cant live with em.. cant kill em.
Psychoanalysis is not all its cracked up to be… but you wouldnt go far wrong in getting Nathalie a book on cognitive behavioural therapy off amazon and letting her work through it. Its a very practical form of psychology which has been experimentally verified as being effective.
Dont discount using antidepressant medication either – there shouldnt be any stigma attached to taking these pills nowadays and they can really turn things around for people.
At the end of the day it will do more harm than good to totally alienate herself from her family… she just needs the tools to be able to see them for what they are (manipulative, deeply disturbed individuals) and not let them use her as an emotional punchbacg.
Yeah, my family in law look at Nathalie’s depression as ‘being a silly girl’, which is why they shouldn’t be allowed near her. I went through depression about 10 years back, and normally your self-confidence is at zero, so having some ‘tards telling you that you’re being selfish or upsetting other people means that you actually believe them. She used to keep trying to please them, but they just throw it back in her face.
Also I just checked Eurostar and it’ll cost us about รฦรโรยขรขโยฌร ยกรฦรขโฌลกรโรยฃ688 to get there and back tomorrow! It cost me less to fly to Canada! We were just planning on turning up at the church and then leaving.
Jesus-titty-fuckin’-christ. Even more debt. ๐ก
At the end of the day it will do more harm than good to totally alienate herself from her family… she just needs the tools to be able to see them for what they are (manipulative, deeply disturbed individuals) and not let them use her as an emotional punchbacg.
Cheers Doc, and you’re right. But in the short-term I want her to sever all ties with them until she’s able to handle them. The past three months we’ve kept them at arms length, and Nathalie was almost back to her old self. Then they decided that they hadn’t put her down or made her feel guilty recently and in the space of an hour we were virtually back to square one.
I think a lot of men have a different idea of family to that of women. While we’re supposed to live in an emancipated society, little girls are still treated totally differently to liitle boys, and a lot more emphasis is put onto us females about families and responsibilities than you men will ever hear! It’s indoctrinated from a very early age, and in my experience, girls have a much harder time at shutting doors on family connections than blokes will ever have.
Also if Nathalie is depressed, she’ll probably be feeling more guilt than usual, and even if she can see that the rest of them are being a shower of bastards, she’ll still feel culpable somehow. Depression is shit, it screws with everything and makes rational thinkking and reasoning impossible. My advice, FWIW, is to keep doing what you are doing now. You’re supportive of her to the extent that you’ll still accompany her to family occassions such as funerals, and I know you’ll give her all the emotional support she needs – and that’s what’s important, for her to have someone upon whom she can rely and depend, someone she knows won’t let her down. It’ll be difficult for you, but I think you need to agree with what she says about her family but not instigate any criticisms as, odd though it seems, criticisms of her family may also feel like they are rebounding and you are criticising her a little too.
Funerals are always shit, depressions is always shit, intereference and grief from families is always shit, but the good thing is the love that you and Nathalie have for each other. It’s hard to cherish someone who is depressed as they are not always the most easy to love when feeling like that, but stick it out mate, be her strength, let her know you’ll be there whatever and then let her make all the decisions regarding her family so you can’t be blamed when the shit hits the fan!
Cheers Tess. I’ll have to cut back on the “your family are all twats” line that I’ve been taking of late, including the variation “your family are all complete twats”, which I often use to express how utterly twattish they are. But I can see how Nats might be getting a bad vibe off that from me.
She’s still trying in some way to make them all like her, but she’s wasting her time and they’re just using it against her. Her dad’s normally very decent, but he’s started siding with the rest of the family now, trying to get Nathalie to appologise for something she hasn’t done in order to return things to the family norm of using her as the scapegoat. But he didn’t reckon on Nathalie’s dashingly handsome husband to stick his oar in and say “NO!” That really what all this is about. Up until now they could just blame Nathalie for anything they wanted to make themselves feel better, and now she’s not putting up with it they’re throwing the toys out of the pram and banning us from family events.
Sure, I don’t care about that, but I guess Nathalie does. But I am going to the sodding funeral tomorrow, but only because I don’t want any of them trying to upset her. How sad is that? Going to a funeral to protect my wife from her own family?
And Jeremy Kyle’s a complete twat: Fact.
Fact: I think my advice was ok, and bugger all like fecking Jeremy Kyle’s shit advice. If anyone else has any problems ask away, I’m bloody good at this lark ๐
And, something else that occurred to me, if you’re criticising her family you might make her feel she has to be defensive and stand up for them, and by agreeing with you she might feel disloyal towards them. So I reckon it’s best just to support her in whatever she has to say, but don’t add fuel to the fire.
CBT and Fluoxetine FTW! Saw me through a whole load of crap a few years ago, CBT keeps working for me today. Feck the thought I could be where I am today a few years back at the height of my depression wa slaughable to me, I thought I was a burden on everyone and everything, turns out that it was true, but I CAN live with it ๐
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