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“Greetings. I am Jarred Vorpalblade, Son of Jerrech the Destroyer, and overlord to the Kingdom of Lutharia. And this is my wife Brenda. We just wanted to say that we think that Madhippy and anyone in or associated with the Brown family are geeks and should stop being so nerdy. And that’s coming from a couple of live roleplayers who normally get laughed at by hikers, or people walking their dogs.”*But that video you posted was actually pretty cool 😉
*Disclaimer. Neither Jarred Vorpalblade or his wife actually said those things. Although they did say that they could have all three of you in a fight, and their address is; Mithral Cottage, 14 High Street, Hastings, Sussex.
Jarred Vorpalblade, I shall beat you down with my Bright Heavens moon Staff! 😆
If you think were sad check out this ghey Role playing forum, have a laugh at a few of the posts:
http://narnia-chronicles.actifforum.com/The-chronicles-of-Narnia-c1/characters-presentation-f5.htm
feel free to copy and paste, so we can all laugh along.
@Ryzo wrote:
Jarred Vorpalblade, I shall beat you down with my Bright Heavens moon Staff! 😆
If you think were sad check out this ghey Role playing forum, have a laugh at a few of the posts:
http://narnia-chronicles.actifforum.com/The-chronicles-of-Narnia-c1/characters-presentation-f5.htm
feel free to copy and paste, so we can all laugh along.
Absolutely brilliant. Actually laughed out loud at that. Great find fella.
Sick Of It All
Force : Can get to the pub and back
Agility : Not usually but I’ll make an effort if the blart is passable
Constitution : About 15 pints
Charisma : Fuck off cuntchops
Intelligence: Fading fastInventory:
4 cans of lager
50p for my bus fare homeThose Narnia guys kick arse, and that thread they’ve got going there is awesome! You heathens wouldn’t know good roleplaying if it bit you in the arse! I’ll start off a proper roleplaying thread here. Feel free to join in the adventure if you want:
Inn Keeper: “Good evening weary travellers. A room for the night?”
Gathrax the Dominator: “Yes. We require 3 rooms.”
Inn Keeper: “Do you want a full English Breakfast?”
Yarren Nimble Toes: “Is that included in the price.”
Inn Keeper: “It is during the week but not at the weekend. It’s an extra gp per room.”
Yarren Nimble Toes: “What do you get with the full English?”
Inn Keeper: “Well, it’s a buffet, served between 7:30 and 9:30. So you can eat as much as you like.”
Gathrax the Destroyer: “Since my father died I have been a vegetarian, so I’ll just go for a continental breakfast.”
Inn Keeper: “Do you all want a wakeup call and a newspaper?”
Where will the adverture take our heroes next? Roll up some characters and join the excitement!
Rodders: Hey Dave. Look at him at the bar. Reckon we can rope him in?
Dave: Well, it’s worth a try mate. Hey you – come over here.
Gathrax: Yes, what is it.
Dave: I’ve got a dead important quest for you like, you interested? It will be challenging and dead important like so it’s not a task to be taken up lightly.
Gathrax: Of course I’m interested.
Dave: Right, well what you have to do is go out into the Felchmuncher swamp and kill 35 brown ratmen and collect their toes and bring ‘em back here. I’ll give you something dead good when you get back. But first you’ve got to promise to give me 8 quid a month.
Gathrax: Well that sounds fair. Here you go.
Dave: Right off you pop. Don’t come back without them toes because if you do I’ll just repeat “Haven’t you got those toes yet, you better go out and get them!†ad nauseum until you do.
Rodders: Off he goes, one born every minute!
Dave: Aye – well that’s another 8 quid. Get the beers in Rodders.
Rodders: Oh, hold yer horses, here’s a familiar face.
Dave: Alreet Hippy, how’s it going lad?
MadHippy: Oh it’s great! I got those toes you asked for!
Dave: What?! You actually did that. For fu- Oh I mean, yeah, well done like.
MadHippy: Can I have my reward now please?
Dave: Err, reward. Yeah, sure. Here you go, have this.
MadHippy: But that’s just a stick you picked up off the floor.
Dave: No, no lad. Magic stick that, does magic stuff and all sorts.
MadHippy: What does it do then?
Dave: Ah well, here’s the thing. You got to unlock it’s power see. What you need to do is go back to Felchmuncher Swamp and kill 35 yellow ratmen this time. Once you’ve done that go and see Pat Nagle in Dustwallow Marsh and he’ll tell you what to do.
MadHippy: Hang on, something is very fucking wrong here.
Dave: Nonsense mate. Now off you trot. But hey, I think that’s another 8 quid you owe me lad. Cheers.
Rodders: There goes another. Who the hell is Pat Nagle by the way.
Dave: Christ knows mate, I make it up as I go along.
Ryzo: Hello! Dave, Rodders! I’m back! I got those toes you asked for.
Rodders: Aww, fucking hell Dave, not again.
Dungeon Master: To locate Zoltan’s secret lair, you must be swift but don’t dispair. He lurks where men might go to bed, and where a traveller rests his head. In a place that sees no day or night and will engulf the brightest light. Now go brave heroes no time to spare, and find that villains secret lair…
Steve: I’m sorry? Where we going?
Dungeon Master: The lair of Zoltan, scourge of the Granite Cliffs of…
Steve: Yeah. I get that. But where is it?
Dungeon Master: (sigh) To locate Zoltan’s secret lair…
Steve: Look. Do you know where Zoltan’s secret lair actually is, because if it’s that important that we find it shouldn’t you just tell us?
Dungeon Master: But when…
Steve: (points to watch)
Dungeon Master: (sigh) Manchester Travelodge.
Steve: And?
Dungeon Master: Room 414
Meanwhile at Zoltan’s Secret Lair…Zoltan: But I had a continental breakfast and the kettle in my room was broken!
Inn Keeper: I can’t give you a refund sir unless you write to head office with your reciept.
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