Classic Movies – Ninja Terminator

You can actually get this totally brilliant film from Amazon for under 1.50

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ninja-Terminator-VHS-Richard-Harrison/dp/B00004XQR9/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=video&qid=1247733632&sr=8-2″ onclick=”window.open(this.href);return false;

So you’ve got no excuses whatsoever.

Actually, this is a good example of what a load of gullible, stupid, idiotic bunch of cretins we all are. We should all be using video recorders, end of story.

Here’s what should have happened.

“We invented these things called DVD players. They’re machines that play your films back for you and the sound and picture quality are ace.”
“Sounds good. Bit expensive though, but you know what – I’ll have one. Chorlton and the Wheelies is on later and if I get it home quick I’ll be able to record it.”
“Oh no, you can’t actually record anything on it, you have to buy discs with the programmes you want already on them.”
“What?!”
“Stuff you want to see will be recorded on discs which you can buy in the shops.”
“Hang on a minute. Hang on a fucking minute. Are you fucking having me on son? Are you taking the piss?
“No, I – “
“So what you’re saying to me is you want to sell me this contraption for 3 times the price of my video recorder, then charge me through the nose to watch shit on it on account of the fact that I can’t just tape stuff off the telly anymore because it doesn’t even record tv programmes?”
“Well, yes, but it’s progress you see.”
“It’s what? Did I hear you right?”
“It’s progress.”
“You trying to get slotted? Do you think I’m fucking stupid lad? Do I look like the kind of moronic twat who’d buy your new machine just because it’s got a few twirly lights on it and you tell me it’s ‘progress’? Even though it costs twice as much as my trusty VCR and does half as much?”
“…”
“Newsflash cockface. Your ‘DVD player’ is shit. What you want to do is take it away, make it work properly and then try to charge me through the nose for it. Otherwise, hope you never run into me again”.
“Well in a few years they’ll bring out this thing called a Digibox you can record things on, so you won’t need your DVD player to record stuff off the telly.”
“Oh good, and that’ll be free will it? You know, since I’m buying your machine that’s actually shitter than my video recorder I’d be right in thinking that you’ll give me this new contraption rather than charge me yet again just so I can do things on 2 machines that the one I’ve got at the moment handles perfectly well?”
“Of course not, Technology costs money, we couldn’t given them away.”
“What a fucking surprise. You lot are idiots. Didn’t you even think about this at all? Tell me, who do you think is mentally retarded enough to pay all this money for 2 gadgets which do exactly the same thing that one gadget they already own is already doing?”
“You know something, you’re absolutely right. It’s a totally stupid idea. I think we’re going to have to go away and invent something people actually need rather than just find a way to fleece them. Thanks for that”
“Don’t mention it. Glad to help.”

When what actually happened was this.

“New gadget, twirly lights. Does half as much. It’s progress. You morons. You buy. You’re hard earned money, hand it over.”
“Well shit the bed, we’re thick as fuck we are. Here’s all my money. Except for a tenner. I need my last tenner to buy Battlefield 1943 – which is actually a quarter of a six year old game and costs two fifths as much. Bargain.”
“Oh Christ, just hand over your money and fuck off please, I’m killing brain cells just listening to you”
“New gadget, me happy. Hooray!”