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mmmkay, I’ve seen three TCM movies in my lifetime.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (2003)
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)I will go by release date.
1. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
horrible. i think like one or two of the five people are actually killed by the chainsaw. the guy in the wheelchair was annoying, and i clapped when he died. the end made next to no sense, very disappointing.
2/102. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (2003)
Definately the best of the three. It didnt (or rarely) have any of those stupid obvious horror movie ingredients– like stupid decisions by the charaters and what not. had pretty much good acting and a well written script, pretty gruesome and everything, very suspenseful. Jessica Beil is hot.
8/10
3. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
i saw this movie saturday night. i believe people generally confuse the term ‘gory’ with ‘scary’. It probably had the most gore out of any movie i have ever seen, but it wasnt all that good. it had very good parts that made you jum and it was kinda suspnseful when the girl is running around being chased, and had semi-good acting, but other than that the movie wasnt good at all. i couldnt fathom how the same people would butcher something like this after they had done such a good job in TCM2003, i guess producer michael bay had more to do with this movie than the other one. this one was full of the typical horror movie stupid decisions and bad script writing. i mean how does a 95lb girl think she can sneak into a house of 5 people (including a sherif with more than one gun and a 250+lb man with a fucking chainsaw) and save 4 of her friends who are being held captive. on top of that, the people dont even know she exists, so they arent after her at all. all she has to do is walk up the road until she finds someone (which is what she does at first, but she gets a biker guy from earlier in the movie who’s girlfriend attempted to rob them at gunpoint). it was just like ‘duh, dont do that’ and then she does it. it was just full of bad things and i cant understand why someone thought that making the movie that way would be a good idea. but nonetheless, i liked it ok and will probably buy it on dvd when it comes out.
6/10
Talking of old horrors, they used to have these things called “video nasties” back when I was a lad. These were videos which were basically banned but you could get them from the bloke who came round in his clapped out old estate car full of videos – 7 for a fiver for the week. You had to scope the street out first though and ask him if he had anything really gruesome in a lowered voice but then he’d nod and reach for his glove compartment and you’d have to say “No, I don’t want to see that picture of your missus again you pillock, give us a video nasty”.
Anyhow, I watched the old video nasty “I Spit On Your Grave” again the other night and fucking hell it was shit.
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