VENTRILOQUIST

VENTRILOQUIST

A ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small outback village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the Aussie ‘Hey, mind if I talk to your dog?’

Villager: ‘The dog doesn’t talk, stupid’.

Ventriloquist: ‘Hello dog, how’s it going mate?’

Dog: ‘Doin’ all right’.

Aussie: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: ‘Is this villager your owner?’ (Pointing at the villager)

Dog: ‘Yep’

Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’

Dog: ‘Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play’.

Aussie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your horse?’

Aussie: ‘Uh, the horse don’t talk either. . . . I think’.

Ventriloquist: ‘Hey horse, how’s it going?’

Horse: ‘Cool’

Ventriloquist: ‘Is this your owner?’ (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: ‘Yep’

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: ‘Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements’.

Aussie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your sheep?’

Aussie: (in a panic) ‘The sheep’s a liar.’