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@=XDC=sPUNKer wrote:
ummm yes umm no umm not sure about that Neon
sad days indeedWell in Allsop’s defence she might just be holding a plate of Phil’s chips…
Wait a minute… Do I detect some crafty photochoppage?
Hmm…
I think I’d be pretty good at this science lark. Calling upon my own experience I could do research into why people get angry when their cars break down. I’d spend the grant money on holidays, a new TV, maybe have the car done up and then just release a paper saying something like “People get angry when their cars break down because they don’t like it and it annoys them.”
I rest my case
“You rest your case? Then by the powers vested in me by the BBC I Judge John Deed find you guilty of being a massive gheyer! Court adjourned!”your just googling images to cover your sexuality.. Its not washing with me
“Then I Judge Chesty McBumps call upon a second verdict, to be delivered by my knickers… Guilty!”Sorry Insane, but two proffessional judges have both found you to be guilty, ragardless of exhibit a) A bar full of brassy tarts.
I was choking up, until you sullied the name of Allsop, who doesn’t eat chips because she’s posh. Pork pies, steak, baby sheep and massive chocolate cakes – yes. Chips – no.
I can’t sum up my emmotions at such slander in words, only in picture, so here’s an underwater, crime-fighting dog:
Now I’m no mathmetician, but I can only count three genuinely straight men (not boys) currently posting on XDC. That is SOIA (who I always thought was straight, but is now even straighter) LeGit (who I did think had bottom bandit tendencies, but has proven me wrong) and of course myself who is clearly straight and married.
I’m just thinking though that If I could take Seeburg’s lips, Beuchamp’s oily figure, Hewitt’s chest, Hannigan’s plucky/spunkyness, Raworths voice, Allsop’s love of the sausage put it all together in the body of Mental, Tatooed Goth Girl, then you would have a goer the likes of which even god has never seen. God would be doing what he does and being everywhere then he’d be like “Jesus H Corbett! Look at the state of that’un!”
Also, I’d like to change my choice of Wilma Dearing, and relegate her to reserves incase any space missions come up, because let’s be honest, we really don’t have cause to fight crime in space, since there’s no criminals in space. Unless one of the guys on the international space platform made a false claim on his expenses or something. But that’s hardly worthy of Neon’s Angels (+1) and more along the lines of Insane’s Beefcake, or Pharty’s Boy Scouts.
My new choice is Nigella Lawson:
What more needs to be said?
Pah!
There are two reasons why Allsop would crush your team singlehandedly (alright, maybe 3 from a potential enegry angle):
1) Rubenesque girls are (by definition) not worried by what they put in their mouths. I don’t know many sturdy vegan girls, and they certainly won’t put any meat in their mouths.
2) She’s a posh gal who dresses in a very prim manner. Which when coupled with point number one makes her a grade 1 goer. And a dirty one at that. Everyone knows that librarian birds are like freaking succubi on heat when you get them home, so I guess estate agents must be similar.
Plus she wouldn’t bleat on about how she looks ‘fat’ like all other women who are size 10 or lower. “Oh my god! I look so fat!” is probably what Kate Moss says again and again and again. And heaven help you if even got bored of saying no and said “Actually, you do a bit…” Oh dear god, could you imagine that? No wonder Pete Dogherty was smashed out of his brain 24/7, he’d probably taken prozac to numb the monotonous pain.
I hadn’t considered a reserves team though, and really I think I should. In fact I am right now. Considering them. Considering them naked.
Here’s my reserves:
Spunky, plucky angel wannabe is 34 year old Alysson Hannigan:
Strengths: She’s plucky and spunky and might be a bit bi according to something I saw her do in TV. She’s shorter than me.
Weaknesses: The girl I saw her with was no oil painting, and then went mental.
Mental goth girl:
Strengths: She’s a mental goth girl. What won’t she do (unlike that prissy do-gooder Hannigan)? Sex in a church yard? You got it? In fact, pretend to be channeling that bloke from the cure, and she’ll do you anywhere!
Weaknesses: She’s mental, and a goth. Probably will want to drink your blood, or talk about death alot. But at least she doesn’t think she’s fat.
Sophie Raworth:
Strengths: She’s Sophie fuckin’ Raworth and she doesn’t take no shit from no-one. You fuck with her she’ll cap you in da ass, you dumb ass mofo.
Weaknesses: I think she married Tim Westwood.
Pah! Vonnegut wasn’t a genius. I think Kilgore Trout was as not only did he write sci fi, he was also the hero in most of Vonneguts books. Now that’s pretty good going. I’d have more respect for a writer like Salman Rushdie if he turned up in a few Harry Potter books:
Just then Salman span around as a Voldemort materialised out of the black smoke, the evil magician levelled a bony finger at the dashing writer.
“At last we meet Rushdie!” Spat the twisted figure “But I fear we shall never meet again!”
“Kneeicus bollocus” Chanted the handsome playwright and kneed the evil wizard squarely in the crown jewels.
“Christ! Me knackers!” Groaned Voldemort as he crumpled to the floor.The Jon Shannow books were my fave’s, although they’re all bloody good. I particulary like the revelation about ‘The Sword of God’ and what happens to Nu Casistra (if that’s right).
Nice one Magicker.
Meh. Don’t worry about it Signal. Forums have to have ‘heated debates’ every few months. It’s the law of the internet. You should have seen the caffuffle I caused when I posted Insane’s bank account and credit card details on the forum last Tuesday.
No, actually it was on a different forum. But the principle’s the same.
@TurksMeister wrote:
Sorry… my levels of humor are being somewhat stunted by the fact that I have been working solidly on my dissertation for the last month – and have 3 weeks left…
It sucks
I was being serious Turks. I found it very funny.
Although maybe that means we’re both really sad 😯
@TurksMeister wrote:
@=XDC=iNSANE wrote:
Wasnt Vic who made this was it.. before I view the vid…
Nah, you are getting mixed up with Smegay Smegay sauce…
I say Mr Turks, that is a fine whiticism that even Noel Coward would agree was ‘frightfully funny’. I shall now post a few laughing faces to show my appreciation:
😆 😆 😆
Here’s my tipple of choice at the local:
If young Turks comes to Berkhamsted, I’ll teach him in the ways of the Honeydew.
I was going to post the same thing this morning Dodge. I only played 1 game last night with Signal, Mouse and yourself on the server before I went to bed, and it was an absolute corker! Plus I saw your score. You gave signal a run for his money
Good commanding and teamplay by the folks on my side, with some superb tactical play. The score was neck and neck until the end. Well played all!
Our commander was a chap calling himself Lordblackadder, so watch for him if he’s on the server and don’t boot him. He’s been on a few times and comes across as a good team player. 😉
