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@=XDC=MADMAX wrote:
good news fella! Dont wee in the water, tip for you!
Ewwww… Is that because of that fish that swims up the stream o’ piss into your fellah and makes itself at home? I’ve heard of that thing. Sounds ghastly 🙁
Well you’ll all be pleased to know that the wedding went relatively smoothly and I’m now officially married.
Not sure I’d want to do it again though. Bloody hell!
Good fun, but knackering!
Pictures to follow when we get back from Kenya.
@sickofitall wrote:
@=XDC=NeonSamurai wrote:
Any of you married blokes got any advice for a happy marriage?
Well, I’ve never been married because I’ve got more sense but here are my general tips based upon experience.
Firstly if your missus is a goth don’t go out in a rubber top to please her on the basis that since your mates are up in Yorkshire and you are in Nottingham they won’t be any the wiser. On the off chance that they do decide to have a night out in Nottingham not only will the beasting be too much that you have to go home early, it’ll also mean that you can never go out again. No self respecting mate is ever going to give you a minutes peace for being caught dressed like a bummer. Not for the rest of your living days. Well, I won’t anyway.
If your missus weighs over 20 stone and draws on her eyebrows keep the fat twat under control. It might be totally acceptable for your other half to talk to you like you’re some kind of spineless servant but if she starts trying to pull that shit with your friends she’s going to get told to shut the fuck up. Also, don’t let her sit on little canvass camping chairs either, she’ll only break them and then roll around on her back for 10 minutes like a marooned beetle whilst everyone pisses themselves laughing.
If your other half is a goggle eyed buffoon with a face like a bucket of frogs do not let her come onto me whilst I’m sat next to Alice the Goon and trying to get rid of her. I might not have much pride but even I don’t want to look like I’ve just been down to the circus and pulled the Troglodyte Sisters for a threesome. Jesus.
If your wife is a tidy redhead it’s probably not a good idea to let her go to nightclubs and tell poor unsuspecting blokes that’s she’s single. I’m not saying anything happened or anything. I’m just saying, that’s all. You know, that bloke could find out later that she’s spoken for and might have to be thankful that nothing happened and he didn’t even see her then or ever, for instance.
I can’t explain this one, so I’ll just say it. Don’t let your missus go to my mates house and do a crap in the bathroom bin. The fucking toilets in there for gods sake. What the hell was she thinking??!
Anyhow, I could go on but I’ll be writing this pointless nonsense all day. In short, don’t let her do anything.
Those are all very valid points that I will have to take into consideration, especially shitting in a bin. I had a mate that tried to take a dump in the bath when he was very drunk, but he wasn’t my wife, so the lessons learned there weren’t that applicable.
One piece of advice that I can give to you single blokes is this:
If the girl you are going out with has an identical twin called Michelle, don’t accidentally call her by her name. If you do, don’t then say that you find her attractive too and it was a simple mistake to make, what with them looking so alike, even though Michelle’s a bit thinner.
Bah! If only I’d had this advice years ago!
If I did decide not to get married now though I think I’d have half of Scotland and France after my blood.
Post edited for clarity:
@airmessy wrote:
@TurksMeister wrote:
Has anyone played it then?
Yep… I have had 2 wanks already.
So whaddaya reckon then Messy? Are the unlocks any good? Got any dogtags yet?
@Beer_Monster wrote:
so how about this for another EA kick in the knackers………..so we (the UK) get to pay 20 bucks more than the yanks plus they’ve been playing it since tuesday while the EA downloader say i have to wait until midnight.
🙄
Bah! They just want the American players to be higher ranks than the rest of us!
I’ll grab a copy when I get back from Kenya in two weeks, at which time I expect Max to be ranked at at least General.
“This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. “
I’m sure the Aborigines have been saying the same thing for the last 200 years.
Heh. Good point.
Awww, you guys *Neon wipes a tear from his eye*
Obviously it goes without saying that next time I get married you’ll all be invited along (except Insane) to help me celebrate. I’ll try not to get as drunk as I did at the last London meet though, otherwise it’ll rapidly descend into “Neon vs Nathalies Family” in an ill-advised, heavily innebriated kung fu showdown.
Any of you married blokes got any advice for a happy marriage?
@=XDC=iNSANE wrote:
oh shit yeah.. sorry too early..
Omg another Ogheymer!! your worse than a bus load of crackheads!
oh and gheyer than Graham Norton *ghey bloke from UK* 😀
Phew! Everything’s back to the status quo. I was getting a bit concerned there that ‘sane had started acting weird.
Hi Arturius,
from whic part of galaxy 5 do you herald?
@VicJameson wrote:
would have been a 7/10 for me, but the inclusion of Lucy Loo knocks it down to 4/10.
She’s a skank.
*edit* I should add that this little rule gave all the Charlie’s Angel films an astonishing -3/10
That’s the lowest film score I’ve ever heard. I gave Charlie Angels a unbelieveable 0.5/10, but you’ve pushed the very boundaries of film reviewing to a whole new level.
And for that I commend you.
Lucky Number Slevin is now on my ‘must watch list’.
Hi Arturius,
I managed to defend one of Alzir’s planets and gave him a moon, but the ingrate doesn’t play Ogame anymore. Bah!
Axile and Queeks are the resident moon makers (at least in an intentional way) and dr1p and the doc mostly do it by accident 😉
Insane, your strange use of words in a peculiar manner is confusing me. Your attempt to make my brain go wrong has been noted.
In the first episode of the series they meet River and the Doc, (who are on the run from the guys with blue hands) which follows on from the first part of the film. It’s a flashback scene.
