sickofitall

I’m with Sprog on this. If you buy a Briana Banks vibrating arse and a bathtime nob extender then you must know you’re going to get the piss ripped out of you mercilessly by the people you tell, inadvertantly or not.

The bloke should be thankful I don’t know him in real life, that’s all. If he was one of my mates everyone he knows, has known and will ever know would have been told about this and he’d have got beasted about it so much he’d have committed suicide by now.

Besides, he’s not going to find out is he? Put it this way, if I had a bathtime nob extender and a Briana Banks vibrating arse I’d be pretty hard pressed to find the time to trawl the internet.

@tess wrote:

@LeGIt wrote:

I would have sworn it must be somehting to do with the Irish as on your high horses, you seem to have got everything backwards.

WTF?

Controversial as Legit is, he is of course technically correct. The Irish are terrible bother and everything ever is their fault of course.

1) Who swapped sides and fought with Mel Gibson (that’s right, Mel f****ing Gibson) against Edward Longshanks – it was the turncoat Irish! Watch the film people!

2) Who tried to kill Batman in the last film. It was Liam Neeson – where is he from – Ireland!

3) In the Franco-Prussian war the 2 sides had to fight each other on their own. That’s right people – the Irish totally failed to turn up and help out. As a matter of fact, the Irish also totally failed to turn up in the French Revolution, the American civil war (except for the Irish who did turn up of course, but they don’t count) and any number of wars you can think of. And what’s their excuse, “Ooooh, it had nothing to do with us, blah blah blah”. Pathetic.

4) Who is totally shit at music. That’s right Boner from U2. Where is he from? You guessed it.

5) The Irish invented rabies to try and annoy people. This is a little known but totally made up fact.

6) The list goes on and on, but it’s also worth mentioning that when Legit posted the end to a long running series on this thread and got everyone’s backs up is was all down to the bloody Irish.

An not being content with generally being the cause of all the problems everywhere, all Irish people look like this:

Even

This game isn’t realistic at all. I sold a player to a team and thought everything was hunky dory but then some dodgy clauses turned up in the contract we’d agreed, some paperwork got lost and some dodgy telephone calls were made. It looked like I was about to be strung up in the game but at the last minute the football authorities stepped in and thankfully engineered a massive cover up and now everyone has to keep quiet till it all blows over and some bloke called Dave Whelan shuts his trap and keeps it shut.

What’s all that about then?

Daft.

I’m not convinced by this womans arguments at all. She seems to be saying that it’s hard to pull as a bloke and that’s not necessarily the case*. Of course you’re going to have difficulty if you approach women in cafes and shite like that and be all gentlemanly and try to impress them that way. That’s not going to work at all unless you’re (a) rich (b) good looking or (c) a spawny get. Us ugly blokes learn very quickly that you can pull if you only go for the drunk tarty bits who look like they’re up for it. The 5 to 2 rush is a good time as well because it means that they’re already plastered and you don’t have to worry about shelling out on bitch pop for them.

This bloody lesbian knows nowt if you ask me.

*Unless you’re ginger of course, then you’re pretty much fucked. Even ginger birds won’t shag ginger blokes. If you’re a ginger and you do manage to pull the only advice I’d give you is don’t buy cheap dog food for her pet – you’ll probably want to keep her guide dog healthy so you can send her down the shops when you run out of beer.

It says (and I’m quoting here so don’t shoot the messenger)

“Bloody student – get a job, have a wash and stop listening to The Levellers.”

Hope that helps.

Hey, if it had been toy soldiers I’d have been hooked I can tell you. I used to have some great fights with toy soldiers as a kid, though the outcome was pretty much a foregone conclusion because whilst I had pretty much even numbers of infantry I had a Panther and a King Tiger on the axis side and I liked squashing people.

Nah, as an RTS game went it seemed well put together and everything, but these things just don’t hold my interest. So in all honesty, I’d say that this game IS worth a try.

Having said that, here’s my experience of these RTS games.

Step 1 – the tutorial

“If you draw a box round your 2 units you can control them both at once! Isn’t that AMAZING! Try it now, don’t worry if it takes you a few tries – I’ll wait for you to get it.”

Wow cheers, I’m really hoping you will because I’m not convinced I can manage that in one go. I might have to order me some kind of helper chimp to get me through this bit. Still, cross your fingers for me would you. It’s a long shot, but I might just pull it off…

“Well done! Now, with your units selected you can right click on those bad men over there and (this is the good bit) your men will go over there and automatically fight them! That’s right! And you can watch! Don’t worry about having to shoot or help out, the computer does that bit for you.”

Well that’s it. Drawing the box round my units had me in palpitations as it is but there’s only so much I can take. Even that dream I had last night where Salma Hayek and Kate Beckinsale were going at the old general like a couple of pigs at a tatty whilst being whipped on their bare arses by that bird with the big norks who does the weather couldn’t have prepared me for the hair raising exhilaration that is the white knuckle ride known as “Company of Heroes”. I’m going to have to turn you off now, this game is far too challenging for me.

“Don’t worry if you’re having problems right clicking on the bad men, just keep trying. You’ll get it eventually.”

No really, don’t. I don’t think I could face doing that. What if they actually do as you say and start fighting? That would be too much for my tiny mind to take, surely?

“Don’t worry if you’re still having problems right clicking on the bad men, just keep trying. You’ll get it eventually.”

No, no. I’m just not up to this. I prefer a quiet life thank you. I think I’ll have to do something a bit less exciting like say, lion taming. Or something slightly less cerebrally challenging like reproducing nuclear fusion in a cardboard box. You know, something more within the limits of my own mind.

Either that, or I’ll just have a quick wank.

“Don’t worry if you’re having problems right clicking on the bad…”

ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO QUIT? (Y/N)

Y

And some women wonder why they get a bad reputation?! You’d have thought that having gone to the trouble of pretending to care about their stupid march those 2 birds would have at least fulfilled their obligation to put out for you. Hangings too good for em, that’s for sure.

Them’s the pick of the bunch Insane, good shout. Agree with you on the gadget show one, something about her that I can’t quite put my finger on. Definitely wants her back doors kicking in. But bloody hell, you can’t post pictures of those two birds at the same time – you’ve just condemned every bloke who reads this thread* to a massive porn trauma. That’s because every bloke who reads this thread* is now going to have to go for an immediate monkeys fag break. Problem is that once everyone who reads this thread* gets into the smallest room, wank hanky at the ready there’ll be that terrible, bloody minded frustration of realising that it is absolutely impossible to decide which one of the dirty strumpets gets first go.

* Everyone except Neon of course, who is going to come stomping into this thread any moment crying foul because we’ve not mentioned that fat bird with the dark hair that cooks pies on the telly all the time. What is he like eh? Eeeh, I don’t know!