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I reckon it’ll be out around about the same time as Duke Nuke Em Forever.
Anyhow, I got to go. I managed transplant albatross wings onto my 15 hogs last night. Don’t know why I did it in truth, they’re an absolute to bastard to catch now.
True – no matter how many times I see that picture with the caption “Van Nistelrooy goes to….” it still makes me laugh. Never scared of rolling out that old chestnut me.
@sickofitall wrote:
Doom 3 was shitter than Peter Crouch (it was that bad) – end of story.
Apparently Peter Crouch scored for England last night! Would you believe it! So, what happened? Who kicked the ball at him and did it hit him in his (a) face (b) arse (c) right testicle, or (d) left testicle before going in?
On the subject of football just thought I’d let Insane know (being a Man Utd fan) that it looks like Van Nistelrooy is off to AC Milan. He was spotted on his way to the San Siro just the other day to sort out a move. Mark my words, looks like it’s a done deal:
Reminds me of my mate trying to chat up this bird whilst pissed up one night – “Fucking hell, you look like Carol Vorderman. Can I have a W, A, N, K please Carol?”. Suppose you had to be there, but it was funny.
It didn’t work though, the frigid bloody lesbian.
I’m sure these played at Reading one year when I was there. Not being a fan of pop music I gave it a miss. I dunno what happened to these rock festivals – they used to be full of bikers and drug addicts but effing kids ruined ’em. I blame MTV. When I was a lad and all that bollocks.
B&W films are not allowed in my house. Call me tight but when I spend money on a colour TV then I’m damn well getting my money’s worth out of it.
But you’re mental Insane – french porn is shite. Italian porn is miles better (so the missus tells me anyway).
I’ll stick up for Far Cry – I remember everyone here really laying into it when it came out but I thought it was okay (until the last level – which was bollocks).
I seem to remember that Far Cry, Doom 3 and Half Life 2 were the next big thing when they came out and I though Far Cry beat the other 2 hands down. Half Life 2 was alright but I thought it was badly overrated.
Doom 3 was shitter than Peter Crouch (it was that bad) – end of story.
@xdc the doc wrote:
Its zctually really good I reckon – way better than X-men 2.
Fair enough, but that’s really not difficult if we’re being honest. Wiping yer arse with a brillo pad would be better than X-Men 2.
They’ve got one of these pubs near me. Not bad beer but you don’t wanna pull in one of these joints, the birds tend to be a bit ropey:
Mission Impossible 2 was probably vying up there to be the shittest film I’ve ever seen, until I saw “The Village” the other night. Jesus Christ Monkey Balls, how did that film ever get finished? Honestly, if you’d have got a part in “The Village” you’d have got half way through filming and said “Hang on a minute everyone, this is fucking bollocks. Let’s be honest here, people are going to puke at how terrible this is. Even I can see that, and we’ve only been filming for 2 days. Let’s just take the budget, go and get pissed and get some dirty whores round – and sorry Weaver, you looked a bit ropey when you were at your best and those days are long behind you so you can stay away from me at the post pub, pissed up dirty whore orgy.”
@=XDC=OldPhart wrote:
Tell em to fook off. Same thing happened to me and the wife. We planned our wedding and shit for almost 2 years, them comes younger bruv and decides he is getting hitched etc. Ma-In-Law tells me and wiff to postpone.
I said fuck it. Me and wife went to the Registrats Office and got the rubber stamp.
Told the inlaws that we have had the wedding and they missed out. SUre they were unhappy, but I set a precedent, my inlaws do not fuck with me, ever.
Agreed, wise words fella.
But if I were you I wouldn’t get involved. Just say to the other ‘arf “Look luv, it’s your family, you sort it out. Just tell me a week in advance where I need to be and when so I’ve got time to sober up and get my bus fare. Oh, and by the way you don’t spell Natalie with and H you dizzy mare. Eeeh, I don’t know – birds today! Now run along and make me a cup o’ tea”. Though if I were you I wouldn’t have asked anyone to marry me in the first place. You must be fucking mental. Have you never heard the song “Bird Trouble”? I even googled the lyrics:
http://www.lyricsondemand.com/c/cocksparrerlyrics/birdtroublelyrics.html
I can tell you from first hand experience of people I know that it’s all 100% true.
Nice one Max. Made me laugh. Having said that I am in a good mood anyway because I’ve just seen a bird with an absolutely smashing pair of jugs. She was a complete bobfoc, but that didn’t matter.
Nothing against Arse by the way, not a big fan of french football but they’re okay.
@Wipers wrote:
Btw Chaos is male and hes from Canada (maybe US). Was talking to him quite a lot on squad speak the other night. He’s a good chap, he likes our server and deserves better than having his post spammed by you two lady boys 👿
I started writing a long story about a Canadian I met in Munich when I was pissed up but it was the usual rambling bullshit I normally come up with – so here’s the bullet points:
* They really do say “aboot” instead of “about”. No joking, I thought South Park must have been making it up.
* They don’t like you talking about the Fenian Invasion of Canada because, like the majority of inhabitants of New York, they all think they’re Irish for some unknown reason. (Probably not the french ones though).
* They are offended if you call them a cunt. They don’t like the word much.
* They can’t take their beer. One night on the piss in Munich and they look like they’ve been shoed half to death the following morning.
* They have an annoying mate who tries to pull your missus but fails miserably, leaving you stuck with her. For gods sake, can’t they do owt right?
