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July 22nd 2005: Neon goes down on his knee and asks his GF of 18 months, Nathalie, to marry him. She agrees and immediately sets our wedding date for the 21st October 2006. Venue gets booked, dress is chosen etc.
March 2006: Nathalie’s yonger brother Mark asks his GF of four years to marry him. She says yes and Mark then sets the date of their wedding for 30th September 2006. No-one tells Nathalie or Neon about the wedding date until after it has been booked (they’re marrying in Hawaii or somewhere similar).
Nathalie is upset about her brother’s wedding date, partly because it’s so close to our wedding date, but also because we can’t go (too much to organise). We have a family get together last night and members of her family are coming up to me suggesting that we cut short our honeymoon to go to her brother’s wedding and saying that Nathalie is being really unreasonable about everything.
I’m pissed off because of the family politics, but it seems Mark can’t put a foot wrong, whereas Nathalie is being frowned upon because she’s upset about what’s happening.
Am I being overly sceptical, or does anyone else here think that what her brother’s done is out of order?
Bang out of order m8. For one thing your presents will be crap because everyone will have had to fork out for air fares to Hawaii. He should postpone by a year.
If your wedding is after Mark’s, why do you need to cut short your honeymoon since they get married before you? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Assuming you & Nat publicised your wedding plans in July last year, really the onus is on Mark to change his plans. It’s completely unreasonable that you have something set up for months that then gets usurped because favoured son does something.
I sympathise – weddings are often a political nightmare. “Family” so often lose sight of the fact that it is your day to be enjoyed, and start imposing their own little “requests” that feel like major obligations.
Seriously, the only way to stop this getting out of hand is to draw the line right now. If you back away on this, you will find more and more interference later down the line.
But you can probably only make this work if you actually go to the other wedding – surely taking just one day out of the run-up won’t completely mess up your plans?
My own wedding was fraught with “suggestions” for the guest list. I survied wthout too many noses out of joint because I got stubbon from the start. But I only got stubborn based on the experience and advice of my brother who got married some years before and who caved into the guest list suggestions. It took years to heal the resulting rift from that….
It is really delicate trying to keep everyone happy – in the end you have to put you & the future Mrs Neon first, and work from there.
Get yourself a drink problem and see what they think about that! go to Marks wedding and ruin it in a drunken rampage , I look forward to watching the video of you vomiting in the font on a future edition of you’ve been framed .
Two comments,
Firstly it’s a total thunder stealing move.
Secondly I’ll lay money it’s fuck all to do with him. I strongly suspect it’s his bird. Blokes just don’t give enough of a fuck about weddings to do that.
Asking you to change your plans is a total piss take, you had made plans first, end of.
If you want I could always go visit the bride a few weeks before the wedding and cut her face up, that should force a postponement.
Cowboy
Tell em to fook off. Same thing happened to me and the wife. We planned our wedding and shit for almost 2 years, them comes younger bruv and decides he is getting hitched etc. Ma-In-Law tells me and wiff to postpone.
I said fuck it. Me and wife went to the Registrats Office and got the rubber stamp.
Told the inlaws that we have had the wedding and they missed out. SUre they were unhappy, but I set a precedent, my inlaws do not fuck with me, ever.
If your wedding is after Mark’s, why do you need to cut short your honeymoon since they get married before you? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Mark’s getting married in some place like Hawaii, so we’ll need to take a week off to get there. The only way that Nathalie can do that is by cutting short our Honeymoon (she’s started a new job so only has 12 or so days holiday this year). I think that’s waaaay out of line.
Nathalie’s angry about all this, but none of the other members of her family think it’s out of order (they all think she’s overreacting), so I wanted to run it by some ‘normal’ people before I start putting my foot down. And I hadn’t even considered the wedding present situation either!
There’s a lot of family rivalry amongst Nathalie and her siblings (she’s one of four) so I think that this might be some pathetic attempt at one upmanship by her brother. If I could persuade her to ‘do a Pharty’ I certainly would.
If you want I could always go visit the bride a few weeks before the wedding and cut her face up, that should force a postponement.
*sniff* It’s when you say nice stuff like that, it makes me realise how good a friend you really are mate.
Ah right – I missed the bit about going to Hawaii.
I agree with Cowboy – the bloke probably doesn’t give a damn about the data. Speak to him direct?
But irrespective of whose idea it was to chose that date, just keep repeating the one solid fact that you had your date chosen first – and a long time ago at that. By any measure of reasonabless and fairness itis only right that your plans take precedence.
Or move your date forward to, say, Sept 20th 🙂
Well I think what pharty did is funny and to be honest is within his right to do it.
You set yours first so I say they should pospone their wedding so there is enough time.
dont take anything less in my mind
I agree with everyone – the brother and the rest of the family are taking a diabolical liberties mate. Leave the missus out if it just now, go and have a word in the brother’s shell like and tell him he’s being a cock.
If he doesn’t comply let me know and I will send you my persuader in the post (nice lump of 4×2)
Failing that explain to the missus that she will have her day and you will do absolutley everything in your power to make it happen ( but tell her your banged the brothers missus infront of him whilst he was straped to a chair with gaffer tape 😉 – The term ‘AVE IT!!! would be quite apt in that situation methinks 8)
@=XDC=OldPhart wrote:
Tell em to fook off. Same thing happened to me and the wife. We planned our wedding and shit for almost 2 years, them comes younger bruv and decides he is getting hitched etc. Ma-In-Law tells me and wiff to postpone.
I said fuck it. Me and wife went to the Registrats Office and got the rubber stamp.
Told the inlaws that we have had the wedding and they missed out. SUre they were unhappy, but I set a precedent, my inlaws do not fuck with me, ever.
Agreed, wise words fella.
But if I were you I wouldn’t get involved. Just say to the other ‘arf “Look luv, it’s your family, you sort it out. Just tell me a week in advance where I need to be and when so I’ve got time to sober up and get my bus fare. Oh, and by the way you don’t spell Natalie with and H you dizzy mare. Eeeh, I don’t know – birds today! Now run along and make me a cup o’ tea”. Though if I were you I wouldn’t have asked anyone to marry me in the first place. You must be fucking mental. Have you never heard the song “Bird Trouble”? I even googled the lyrics:
http://www.lyricsondemand.com/c/cocksparrerlyrics/birdtroublelyrics.html
I can tell you from first hand experience of people I know that it’s all 100% true.
I might add Neon that the route I took requires the bird to be on-side and mentally strong because the flak will keep coming in her direction for years after (my wiff still gets mega grief but cop nowt, they just ignore me 8) ).
But you should deffo put yer hoof down, this is yer wenches BIG DAY, you are just a passenger but wot you do now can determine how she will remember it in the future.
Once you are married, you and the wife become a new family. Consequently your current family, and her immediate family should take take second place to you, the wiff ter be and any sproglets.
Aye sounds like one woman trying to upstage the other, most blokes just want it over and done with.
I’d do an OP registary office job, or fly to Vegas or Gretna Green 😀
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