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Neon old Koala, are you really sure you want to do this?
Just think, no more nookie after 3 -6 months. A constant whine in the background will start after 6 weeks. She will start to resemble her mummy. You will start to dream of the days of freedom.
You will no longer be able to fart in yer own home. You life will no longer be yours but will be at the mercy of a hormonally induce nutter.
Well, you will see, just don’t come back to me and say, Pharty, why did you not warn me, coz I have.
/Already practicing my best “I told you so” tone 😆
Awww, you guys *Neon wipes a tear from his eye*
Obviously it goes without saying that next time I get married you’ll all be invited along (except Insane) to help me celebrate. I’ll try not to get as drunk as I did at the last London meet though, otherwise it’ll rapidly descend into “Neon vs Nathalies Family” in an ill-advised, heavily innebriated kung fu showdown.
Any of you married blokes got any advice for a happy marriage?
@=XDC=NeonSamurai wrote:
Awww, you guys *Neon wipes a tear from his eye*
Any of you married blokes got any advice for a happy marriage?
Yes,
DON’T get married inna first place.
But seeing as yer did
DON’T….. do anything. Yer going ter be in shit whatever yer do, so just do nothing, saves energy for the fight that is certain to come.
Er, wot else? Don’t do her up her “Little man” without asking, it makes them very cross
Don,t go out with yer mates, it makes the wench very cross. In fact, best just dump yer mates
Don’t criticize her, her familiy or anything connected, but ensure you insist everything aout yer familly is crap.
Get used to the idea that everything that goes wrong (real or imagined) is yer fault.
Did I mention don’t get married in the first place??
Aww fek it, too late for you now, just make sure you got a good (hidden, they get cross if they find it) pron stash.
Get a dog, then you can take it fer a walk (get down the boozer, get away from the whining etc)
Bah! If only I’d had this advice years ago!
If I did decide not to get married now though I think I’d have half of Scotland and France after my blood.
@=XDC=NeonSamurai wrote:
Any of you married blokes got any advice for a happy marriage?
Well, I’ve never been married because I’ve got more sense but here are my general tips based upon experience.
Firstly if your missus is a goth don’t go out in a rubber top to please her on the basis that since your mates are up in Yorkshire and you are in Nottingham they won’t be any the wiser. On the off chance that they do decide to have a night out in Nottingham not only will the beasting be too much that you have to go home early, it’ll also mean that you can never go out again. No self respecting mate is ever going to give you a minutes peace for being caught dressed like a bummer. Not for the rest of your living days. Well, I won’t anyway.
If your missus weighs over 20 stone and draws on her eyebrows keep the fat twat under control. It might be totally acceptable for your other half to talk to you like you’re some kind of spineless servant but if she starts trying to pull that shit with your friends she’s going to get told to shut the fuck up. Also, don’t let her sit on little canvass camping chairs either, she’ll only break them and then roll around on her back for 10 minutes like a marooned beetle whilst everyone pisses themselves laughing.
If your other half is a goggle eyed buffoon with a face like a bucket of frogs do not let her come onto me whilst I’m sat next to Alice the Goon and trying to get rid of her. I might not have much pride but even I don’t want to look like I’ve just been down to the circus and pulled the Troglodyte Sisters for a threesome. Jesus.
If your wife is a tidy redhead it’s probably not a good idea to let her go to nightclubs and tell poor unsuspecting blokes that’s she’s single. I’m not saying anything happened or anything. I’m just saying, that’s all. You know, that bloke could find out later that she’s spoken for and might have to be thankful that nothing happened and he didn’t even see her then or ever, for instance.
I can’t explain this one, so I’ll just say it. Don’t let your missus go to my mates house and do a crap in the bathroom bin. The fucking toilets in there for gods sake. What the hell was she thinking??!
Anyhow, I could go on but I’ll be writing this pointless nonsense all day. In short, don’t let her do anything.
happy birthday neon, another year has past and you can start looking forward to next year!
I made a joke!
🙄
@Dreamwalker wrote:
happy birthday neon, another year has past and you can start looking forward to next year!
I made a joke!
🙄
EH?
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