Classic Movies – Ratman. He’s the Critter from the Shitter!

You know how it is, you get our of bed, looks like it’s going to brighten up a bit today. The sun will be shining, the birds will be singing, you’ll be getting titlash from craning your neck as the tarty bits walk past you with their low cut tops. And you look up, see the sunny Bradford skyline, take a deep breath – smelling the drains and catch the wafts of cooking cat meet simmering from the local curryhouse and think to yourself

“By god, what a fucking dump.”

See, I don’t have to review Ratman. I mean, it’s about a 2 and half foot tall half rat midget who jumps out of toilets and attacks half naked birds. What more could anyone possible ask for in a film? The only question you’re asking yourself is whether a film with such a brilliantly conceived premise could even exist. Well it does. Here’s Ratman

This film doesn’t even get a score. As I already told you, it’s about a mutant midget that attacks half naked birds. For christs sake – it doesn’t need a bloody score.