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Since marrying my wife Nathalie, I have inherited two brothers and a sister in law as well as a mother and father in law as well. As some of you may know, during the run up to our wedding I wasn’t best pleased when Nathalies’ announced his wedding plans; two weeks before ours on the other side of the world. This pissed me off because it kind of overshadowed Nathalie’s big day and also meant that we couldn’t go (not that I’m really that bothered about the later, I’d rather have spent a week in Abu Ghraib).
Well fast forward to Christmas and Nathalie says asks if it would be okay to come over to the parents early so that we can watch our wedding video with the whole family. Her mum agrees, but when we show up the whole family are already thereand they’ve just finished watching it. Nathalie’s upset. She’s brought the albums with her too and her family either show zero interest in them or (in the case of her older sister) look at the pictures, say they’re all rubbish and that we’ve wasted our money on the photographer. I’m unaware of this (I’m kicking their asses at risk) until Nathalies comes in in tears and says that we’re leaving, so we do. It’s only halfway home that she tells me what’s happened.
Since then we’ve not been invited to any family gatherings since Nathalie might ’cause a scene’. To compund matter Nathalie’s mum is also quite ill so any stress she experiences gets blamed on Nathalie, and in fact her dad rang up a few months back to tell her how much she was upsetting her mum by (get this) not appologising to her sister about her bahaviour at Christmas (which made Nathalie cry) and yours truely went ballistic with him on the phone and gave him a piece of my mind. He then came around a few days later to kind of calm the waters, but I didn’t take any bullshit from him (he’s actually a nice guy, but his wife and eldest daughters kind of tell him what to do).
Anyway, turns out Nathalies step grandad died on Wednesday of last week and they’ve just let us know about the funeral, which is on Thursday, in France. So it looks like Nathalie won’t be able to go to that either, thanks to the late notice. Again, I’m not bothered by this, but it’s the principle of the situation. Since we got married we’ve had an endless stream of bad luck, money problems and Nathalies depression, and her family don’t seem to care one iota, and are probably the largest factor in causing it.
I’ve pretty much decided that we should have fuck-all to do with them anymore. Sure we’ll miss the neices and nephews, but as far as I can tell her family bring nothing positive to the equation.
Am I overreacting or do they seem like a bunch of cnuts to you lot too? Any suggestions about how to proceed, ‘cos I’m sick to death of them upsetting my wife and by default me.
It does seem a bit strange to me too that theyd act like that, however, Familys family, and whether youd want to cut that part out, so to speak, would she be able to? Perhaps, its just a case of letting things blow over, or has this been going on for some time?
So then Neon,
• You got out of going to a wedding in the arse end of nowhere
• You didn’t have to sit through hours of a wedding video and photos.
• You got to go home early from the in laws at Christmas.
• You fell out with your father in law.
• You are pretty much guaranteed that you no longer have to make trips to see the in laws or have anything to do with them ever again.
• You no longer have to put up with the bloody kids in your extended family.Talk about living the dream! My advice would certainly to be to go straight down the pub and have a big fuck off party to celebrate.
Well played my son.
You’re not far wrong SOIA. I couldn’t care less about her family and all their stupid bullshit. Basically the sister and the youngest brother shit gold in the eyes of the mum and dad, and if they’ve got an issue with Nathalie then that means the whole family has to. As Ryzo said, this might all blow over, but they’ve been cocks all their lives, so I don’t things are going to change, so I think we should just forget about them.
I’m pretty sure that if it came to a fight my family would kick their arses, mainly because my sister’s like some crazy, coked-up hell-cat when she gets going, but I don’t want it to come to that. Well, maybe a little.
Besides, my family are ace and Nathalies are shit, and she’s technically a Hasted now, so we own her.
Mate, as I advised you before, you have your life with Natalie. Everyone else should tak second place. If they want to act like nobs, fuck them. Life is too short
He speaks the truth for once… albeit in a different language!
Its a shame you cant all get on.. that would be my 1st choice .. fook em!
@=XDC=OldPhart wrote:
Mate, as I advised you before, you have your life with Natalie. Everyone else should tak second place. If they want to act like nobs, fuck them. Life is too short
That’s pretty much been my approach, but Nathalie keeps trying to please them, and I reckon enough is enough. Like Insane said, I’ll try to get on with anyone as that’s the best way, but if you keep throwing it back in my face and upsetting the wife then you’ve made it clear where we stand. We’ve got enough problems at the moment without her family trying to lay a guilt trip on us.
On a completely unrelated note:
Pharty, do you still have one of those .338 hunting rifles that I could borrow for a weekend, preferably with your fingerprints on it?
yeah phart but what affects Natalie affects Neon and Natalie is clearly affected by the lack of love her family shows. Natalie, I’m guessing, is quite an emotional gal? teetering on potentional over-emotion (due to her situation)?
My missus (although she’s kill me if she saw me posting this) had lots of issues. Starting way back as a baby being left at an orphanage then …yada yada yada (not nice stuff) anyway when her family comes into it it becomes an emotional roller coaster ride.
Bottom line is that your extended matriarchal family are being selfish idiots and it’s hurting Natalie as she feels the love should be shared between her siblings and no favoritism shown. That’s just her mothers selfish irresponsability that probably spans back to possibly an odd childhood she may have suffered herself .
Bottom line is that your extended family (mainly the mother) need therapy. But that is never going to happen from the suggestions of yourself and Natalie but only from one of the favorites or even her husband.
The easier alternative to this is for Nat to have some psychotherapy herself and allow her to get all the hurt she has inside off her chest. It will really help her and ultimatley help both of you. Obviously psychotherapy isn’t free although you can convince your GP to get it on the national health it may take awhile longer.
Finally and most importantly make sure that your familly show a lot of love to Nat and replace the role her direct family are supposed to have.
Ultimatly, harsh as it sounds, she needs to forget about her immediate family. untill they get some form of therapy things wont change£50 please
Good advice Mr Spunker and… er… have you got a degree in this sort of thing or something, ‘cos that was spookily accurate.
He takes hallucigenic drugs
Maybe you should txt TALK to 83334 and see if you can get on his show.. you could also use it as an excuse to panda tha arrogant fuckers eyes for me at the same time!
@=XDC=NeonSamurai wrote:
Good advice Mr Spunker and… er… have you got a degree in this sort of thing or something, ‘cos that was spookily accurate.
experience and therapy myself from my own anxiety so I know it works m8 😉
Also “feel bad” books or films where the characters are having a shit time actually helps. Having people in a worse situation that themselves helps to shift the focus away from their problems. “Requiem for a dream” theres a good start 😉@=XDC=sPUNKer wrote:
The easier alternative to this is for Nat to have some psychotherapy herself and allow her to get all the hurt she has inside off her chest. £50 please
Just one thing, telling a bird that she needs therapy is likely to lead to you waking up at 2am in the morning with the window wide open and your fly’s eyes on the front lawn.
If this happens to you Neon I dunno what you’ll do with the rest of your life, but I think you’d have grounds to say that Spunker should probably refund you that 50 quid.
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