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Found my copy of this at the weekend so here’s a good place to recommend it.
See, this book is significant because it’s the only one I think a girl has ever used as a reason to dump me. Which also happens to be how I came to read it in the first place.
You know what it’s like, you meet a girl, turn on bullshit mode to trick them into liking you and then spend the next few weeks trying to keep it up and get a jump. Then the façade gets to be a bit too much to be bothered with and you revert to just being yourself. Then reality kicks in for her. Suddenly she turns around one day and tells you she’s splitting up with you on account of you being an apathetic, shallow, nihilistic drunk and you stand there with a look of utter bemusement on your face thinking ‘bloody hell woman, if this is a break up then why the fuck are you listing all my good points?!’.
So yeah, on her way out this lass once told me that I was like that man in that post office book. So out of curiosity I went out and got a copy and read it. Thanking her later for her kind words only seemed to rile her further – looking back I don’t think she meant it as a compliment.
So Post Office, a novel for anyone who hates work and the fucking jobsworths who try to tell you it’s important, likes getting drunk and could never make head nor tail of women (see above). This book is about you. You should read it.
Lol – sounds interesting. Will keep my eyes open for this one in the secod hand shops 🙂
Good review 😆
Sounds cool. Didn’t they make this into a TV servies back in the 80’s? I remember it had a black and white cat in in called Jess, and the bloke who starred in it seemed very apathetic.
As for using it as a reason to dump you? Pah! Women! Mine still thinks I’m a doctor at St Thomas’s hospital, and I was doing a pretty convincing job of it just watching ER and telling her what George Clooney (me) had been up to that week. Trouble is he’s left the show now and I’m having to make stuff up.
Last week I told I’d performed a ‘mumectomy’, a delicate operation whereby you remove a baby from it’s mother. The wife points out that it’s actually called ‘delivering a baby’ (or something), so I said this was different because the baby was born last week but climbed into the mother’s bra and refused to come out (quick thinking eh?)
So I’ll check out Post Office by Buchowski, but in the meantime could Doc give me some proper medical words to use as the wife’s becoming suspicious about some of headectomies and arse transplants I did last week.
It’s little wonder your missus is beginning to suspect you Neon, with all that jargon you’re coming out with. If you want to carry this off you really need to be a bit more convincing. So:
* Don’t talk about any operations or anything you’ve done. Simply go home and complain about how tough your day has been and make a vague comment about how you think it’s all worthwhile, because your handicap is coming down.
* By all means leave your phone on but make sure that she can never get hold of you on it.
* Boast to her about how much money you’re getting in backhanders from drug companies for giving their medicine to people who don’t really need it.
* Absolutely refuse to do absolutely anything at the weekend. This one is vitally important. Sit in your chair and demand that she waits on you hand and foot.
* Let her catch you in bed with a nurse.
* Arrange to meet her somewhere at 8, turn up at 11 with a friend in tow and then spend a few hours talking to your mate about her as if she isn’t there.
* Buy a beeper and pretend to be on call. Get some mates to set it off whilst you’re watching tv with her and when it goes off jump up as quick as a flash, grab your beeper out of your pocket, switch it off and then sit back down and doze off.
If you do all these things you’ll be so convincing you’ll probably be able to actually get a job as a doctor.
RIGHT! thats it!
Why didnt you tell me you were qualified SOIA????
Now stop telling everyone our secrets 😉
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