some pap jokes for you all

“Little Johnny is a most shy and insecure boy and is taken to the Circus. Made to sit right in the front by his Auntie, and on come the Clowns. Immediately one runs to him and, thrusting a microphone under his nose says “Are you the front end of an Ass?” “No” says Johnny. “Are you the back end of an Ass” “No” he replies. “Then I declare that you are no-end of an Ass” says the Clown triumphantly. Little johnny runs straight home in tears. His Mum says you must confront your fears to exorcise them from you forever and sends the poor boy back to the Circus the next day, only this time with Uncle Jim who is a master of the quick quip and witty repartie… “Watch your Uncle and learn” says Mum.
Next day and poor Johnny is back in the front row, but this time with Uncle Jim master of the quick quip and witty repartie. Enter the Clowns, who this time make for Uncle Jim (master of the quick quip and witty repartie). “Are you the front end of an Ass” they ask Jim, a master of the quick quip and witty repartie. “No” “Are you the back end of an Ass” “No” says Jim, a master of the quick quip and witty repartie. “Then I declare that you are no end of an Ass”… But before the audience could react, Uncle Jim, a master of the quick quip and witty repartie, quick as a flash said “…Fuck off you red nosed, big shoed cunt”.

A man was told his wife was sick, and that she either had AIDS or Alzheimers – they weren’t sure which. He asked a friend if he could offer any advice… The friend suggested the following: “Take her to a remote part of the country, somewhere where she’s never been before, and drop her off. If she finds her way home… don’t fuck her.”

the end