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Bah!
I’ve dropped my wallet onto the tracks at Clapham Junction. It’s got my money and train pass, which means I’m effectively marooned here! Bloody jobsworths here won’t retrieve it due to safety reasons until 09:30, and all it needs is a rubbish collector arm like the cleaners here use.
Still it could be worse. If Pharty had dropped his wallet on the tracks it would have probably caused a massive pile up by now, what with all the gold and greasy £50 notes he must keep in there!
My £50 squid notes are clean, starched and perfectlt laundered (in more ways than one). Never ever greasey.
Now get to work you muscle-bound baboon
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