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**** WARNING. PLOT SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ANYONE WHO HASN’T SEEN THE TRAILER WHICH BASICALLY TELLS YOU WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS TOTALLY PREDICTABLE FILM ANYWAY. SUCH IS LIFE *****

You know what – sometimes you’ve got to have a sense of humour when you go to the pictures. You know, when some bloke makes a film about the evils of capitalist exploitation costing about 250 million quid, for instance. Taking the piss you see. Very good.

Whilst extolling the virtues of running around in a loin cloth and firing a bow and arrer might make you think you’re being cool and right on, given how we’re all about to drown half our kids in rising oceans and bake the others in deserts caused by massive temperature rises, it doesn’t really take into account the big problem with this film.

“There’s nothing we’ve got these people want” bemoans the hero half way through.

Bollocks mate, total and utter bollocks. They want tv’s, videos, computer games. Course they fucking do. Yeah, yeah you stupid little hippy – let’s all go live in trees and eat berries. Big stumbling block though. Living in trees is shit boring. Fact. It’s okay though, because wouldn’t it be great (as well as being totally and utterly fucking ludicrous) if you could plug your hair into a tree and talk to it!!!!!!. Well – no it wouldn’t. It would be shit.

“Hello tree, hows things going? Done anything exciting”
“Done anything exciting? You on the wind up? A bird landed on me earlier and a monkey shat on me. Done anything exciting – I’m a fucking tree you moron. Fuck off.”

So you’re telling me that some poor bastard sat wiping his arse on leaves all day and talking to trees would rather be doing that than watching “Ninja Terminator” or “Street Trash”. That’s demonstrably not the case. If it were true you see, we’d all still be living in trees and wiping our arses on leaves.

So we’re left with that old and seemingly flawless equation whereby the more spectacular the special effects are in a film the more shallow and completely ridiculous the story becomes.

So the fact that the special effects in this film are, by any measure, pretty bloody amazing (and the 3d effects are also very good) tells you all you need to know about the storyline itself.

IMAX. 3D.

The only way to see it.

Wish there was an IMAX near me, but this was pretty fucking spectacular on the normal big screen. I really didn’t care about the story being old and redressed to fit a sci fi setting, because it just looked so damn good.

I was left wondering how many hippies have tried plugging their pony tails into trees since watching this. Some good news for SOIA though, some of hippies worldwide apparently couldn’t cope with the real world again after seeing this idealistic version of reality, and topped themselves.

yup. same guy that did the star wars review. This is also tops! 😀