Best Homer Simpson Quotes: Or Anyone Else’s

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  • #14176
    XDCNeonSamurai
    Participant

    What are your favourite Homer Simpson quotes/moments?

    Here are a few of mine:

    Homer (adopting strange voice): “Hello. My name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.”

    Postal Worker: “Okay Mr Burns, what’s your first name?”

    Homer (still using strange voice): “I… don’t… know…”

    Homer: “HAHAHAA! In your face Flanders! You hear that son? Your old man was right! We are gonna die!”

    Bart: “Dad! You just killed the zombie Flanders!”

    Homer (confused): “Flanders was a zombie?”

    Marge (as Bart leaves to go on his first date): “Aww. Our little man’s growing up Homer.”

    Homer: “So it goes. Sun rise. Sun set. Sun rise. Sun set. And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon, yes we have no bannanas…”(Homer begins to sob)

    Marge: “There, there Homie. Bart’s not moving out just yet…”

    Homer (through his tears of lament): “Didn’t you hear Marge? They have no bannanas!”

    #26409
    XDCiNSANE
    Participant

    Every quotes a classic from him!

    #26410
    xdc the doc
    Participant

    ROFL – good ones neon!

    What I dont understand is ….. how can the simpsons be soooooooo clever and funny… wheras futurama is just a big old damp squib?

    #26411
    sickofitall
    Participant

    You’re either being sarcy or completely mental Doc. Futurama is great. The robot Bender is an absolute hero:

    Suicidal woman “I’m going to jump.”
    Bender “Do a backflip!”

    Female computer “My home planet was run by a chauvanistic male computer, a manbot. Do you know what it’s like being a female computer in a manbots world?”
    Bender “What?”

    When he mutinies and locks his captain in the brig “Don’t worry, soon we’ll be able to look back on this and laugh. Ha ha ha ha!”

    “Doesn’t it bother you that you’re abusing your girlfriends trust?”
    Bender “Ha ha ha. Oh wait, you were being serious. Let me laugh even harder.”

    “Will I come? That depends. Will it take place wherever I was going to be anyway and not interfere with whatever it is I’m going to be doing?”

    Sorry, I know that this is a Homer Simpson thing but we can’t have Futurama mentioned without some Bender quotes.

    #26412
    XDCiNSANE
    Participant

    lmao with you SOIA… Futurama bender is a genius lol

    infact.. he reminds me alot of you in the way he says things lol

    top stuff

    #26413
    XDCNeonSamurai
    Participant

    I agree with SOIA, Doc’s gone mental. Doc you should see another doc who deals with bad brain problems. Futurama didn’t suffer from the affliction that the Simpsons did: The first three series of The Simpsons.

    Sadly they weren’t funny 🙁

    Futurama Quotes:

    Bender: That plot makes perfect sense. Wink, wink.
    Dr. Zoidberg: Bender, you said ‘wink, wink’ out loud.
    Bender: No I didn’t. Raise middle finger.

    Richard Nixon’s Head: Good evening, ignorant pigs. Put down your crack pipes and your beer bongs and pay attention, as I sign a historic peace accord with ambassador Kong of planet Nintendo 64.
    Fry: Wait a second, I know that monkey, his name is Donkey!
    Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Monkey’s aren’t donkeys, quit messing with my head!

    Fry: But won’t that change history?
    Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [ultra sarcastic] Ohh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. “I’m My Own Grandfather”! Let’s just steal the damn dish and get out of here! Screw history!

    Bender: I think I got whiplash.
    Leela: You can’t have whiplash, you don’t even have a neck.
    Bender: I meant ass whiplash!

    And back to my all time favourite Homer scene (appart from the one when his ghostly brain leaves his head and he collapses whilst talking to Flanders):

    [the Simpsons are in an office with two FBI men letting them know about going to the federal witness protection program]
    FBI man 1: Tell you what, Mr. Simpson, from now on your name is Homer Thompson.So when I say hello Mr. Thompson, you say hi.
    Homer: Check!
    FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
    [homer stares blankly]
    FBI man 1: [pause]
    FBI man 1: Now, remember, your name is Mr. Thompson.
    Homer: Gotcha!
    FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
    [again Homer stares blankly]
    FBI man 1: [FBI men stare at each other]
    [hours pass by]
    FBI man 1: [frustrated] Argh… Now when I say “Hello Mr. Thompson” and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
    Homer: No problem.
    [stepping hard on Homer’s foot]
    FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
    [Homer stares blankly again for a few seconds]
    Homer: [whispering to the FBI man next to him] I think he’s talking to you.

    #26414
    XDCiNSANE
    Participant

    lmao thats my fav all time quote too.. one of me fave episodes is when he has to gain weight to get on disability 😀

    Comic book guy is the shit too.. makes me piss!!

    as does Ralph

    #26415
    xdc the doc
    Participant

    Come on guys. Dont get me wrong – Bender does have some good lines… but as a whole futurama is pretty poor. Sooo many episodes I have gone through with barely a titter. Its not as sharp or funny as Simpsons, and often descends into some pretty dire plot lines. It also has a few moments where the characters all break out into song in a most excrutiating and unfunny way (one episode in robot hell and another with Hermes doing a bizzarre song about filing or some shit like that spring to mind.)

    I watched them all and dont regret it… but comparitively… theres no contest!

    #26416
    XDCiNSANE
    Participant

    jebus of course theres no contest!

    oo I have to say Family Guy and American Dad (albeit I only seen a few of them) are so fecking funneh too.. just ordered series 2 to 4 of FG to watch as I aint seen em all 😀

    #26417
    Captain_Chronic
    Participant

    I love Futurama and American Dad is excellent also though have only seen a few of them 🙂

    #26418
    Suicide
    Participant

    family guy quagmire is a genious:

    “Fat chicks need love too…they just have to PAY!”

    (runs outside in a robe) “Hey guys, what’s going on? I was just jerki … ed out of a deep sleep.”

    ” Hello, 911? It’s Quagmire. Yeah, it’s caught in the window this time.”

    #26419
    von smallhousen
    Participant

    lmfao – Quagmire is my hero.

    American Dad is really growing on me too – I can’t bear to hear the alien in it. But it is seriously funneh

    Francine: It’s just a CIA carnival. Why are we folding napkins?
    Stan: Because there’ll be food and my boss likes to wipe his mouth on swans. (Picks up napkin) What the hell is this?
    Roger: Metrosexual soccer icon, David Beckham. I can’t do swans. I don’t know why.

    Francine: How’s everyone’s French toast?
    Stan: Smelly and ungrateful, but this American toast is delicious.

    Stan: I got the promotion, Francine!
    Francine: Yes, but you lost my respect. You’re not the man I married.
    Stan: And you’re not the man I married.
    Francine: That doesn’t make any sense.
    Stan: It doesn’t have to. I got a promotion!


    But I wouldn’t have Stewie as my Av if it weren’t for this pieces of genius


    Stewie: Cut my eggs.
    Butler: [cuts eggs] Your eggs are cut sir.
    Stewie: Cut my milk!
    Butler: I can’t sir, it’s liquid.
    Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it

    Stewie: Oh I feel so delightfully white trash. Mommy, I want a mullet.

    Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland’s house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

    Stewie (at airport): I require a window seat and an inflight Happy Meal, and no pickles! God help you if I find pickles!

    sorry to crash your homer thread, the mans a genius, fkin legend.

    #26420
    XDCiNSANE
    Participant

    Totally agree and just received series 2 and 3.. gonna get em on now lol 🙂

    #26421
    XDCMADMAX
    Participant

    The Simpson’s are for gheys 😀

    #26422
    XDCNeonSamurai
    Participant

    sorry to crash your homer thread, the mans a genius, fkin legend.

    No probs Vonsmallone, you’re American Dad and Stewie posts are still delivering the laughs. Heck I’m going to edit my origional post.

    I JUST WANNA READ FUNNY QUOTES FROM ANYONE GOSH DARN IT!

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